#August2014

Amazon buying Twitch for $970 f**king million

twitch

Bet you thought Google had all that Twitch goodness tied-up, didn’t you? I certainly did, especially with Twitch’s new policies and shit smacking of draconian YouTube bullshit. But it appears that a new ch-ch-challenger has entered the capitalist arena, with Amazon winning the rights to Twitch. For $970 fucking million.

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Report: YOUTUBE buyin’ TWITCH for $1 Billion Smackers

Make it rain!

Good god damn! YouTube is acquiring Twitch, the popular-as-fuck streaming gaming video watching service. Thing. Like, yeah. Where you watch the ass-lords try to be entertaining while playing World of Warcraft or inFamous: Second Son or whatever.

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Indignant Gasp! Microsoft pays YouTube personalities to promote Xbox One

OPRAH.

This is a surprise! A horrible, wrenching surprise. Apparently Microsoft pays, pays! YouTube personalities to promote XB1. Here I thought these folks were bulletproof, incapable of being morally assailed.

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GOOGLE and YOUTUBE making a run at NFL SUNDAY TICKET? Just Imagine

Randy!

Yesterday’s big buzz was that Google’s Lead Czar was talking to the Powerful Guy from the NFL about some sort of nexus-connection. At the center of this buzz was the idea that through some wondrous developments we all don’t deserve NFL Sunday Ticket could come to YouTube.

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‘GANGNAM STYLE’ is most viewed YouTube video ever. Now let it die.

There can’t be anyone who hasn’t seen “Gangnam Style” at this point, nor do I hope is there anyone who actually enjoys the meme-turned-cultural-cock-wart any longer. Even though the jam makes me want to cut my eyes out, I find the fact that it was such a phenomenon to be interesting. What was seemingly esoteric Internet nonsense spread across the body of the Modern Pop Psyche in ways I never would have imagined. This can only mean one thing. Our consciousness is plummeting into the future William Gibson foresaw.

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YouTube is getting itself a FACE BLURRING FEATURE. Shake that ass in anonymity, yo.

YouTube is taking the first step towards all your mommas shaking their donkey trunks on the internets. They’re dropping facial blurring technology, so now all of the bitties out there can definitely slough off whatever pride they had and get freaky.

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Pre-Screening YouTube Videos Would Cost $37 Billion. A Year.

Buckle up. There is an enormous 72-hours of video uploaded to YouTube every minute. Every. Fucking. Minute. Some people clamor for pre-screening of this titantic amount of video, and hey that’s totally doable. If you have the pockets. The deep ones.

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