#February2015
Weekend Open Bar: From The Windows To The Walls
True story: last night the Wife and I went out to eat with an former professor of ours. I had two beers. Was completely rocked because I never drink. Got home. Ate three bagels while lå down on the coach and watching NHL Tonight. And then fell asleep. Which is to say, that’s why I haven’t opened the fucking bar yet! But here it is! Weekend Open Bar. The gathering point for the Degenerates that roam the halls of the Space-Ship Omega. Come one, come all! Hang out. Share what you’re up to this weekend. Ridicule me for being a lightweight when it comes to adult sodas! Commiserate with me about the fact that there is eighty-five hours of snowfall hitting New England.
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Monday Morning Commute: That Noveria Life
As you may or may not know, it’s the fucking Snowpocalypse here on the Northeastern Seaboard of the Empire. We ain’t fucking Commuting Anywhere! It’s the End Times! That’s what the media says! No worries. No sweat. I have serious provisions: four twelve-packs of Diet Dews. Five pounds of Laffy Taffy. A family-sized box of Chez-Its. And I have serious amounts of time on my hands, too. Multiple feet of snow coming in. Multiple miles-per-hour of serious wind. Probably ain’t going to teach again until Friday. So this is what I’m filling my week with. Both during the Snowpocalypse and after we dig out.
Weekend Open Bar: Life On Hoth!
Oh dip! Living the Hoth Life here on the Eastern Seaboard of the Empire. I can’t grouse too much, though. It’s been a mild winter thus far. But whether or not you’re hunkering down away from the snow or surfing gnarly rays of light, come hither! Gather up to one of my Post-Apocalyptic Trash Fires burning in the Space-Ship Omega. Grab your favorite beverage from the Open Bar. And then share what you’re doing this weekend!
Tuesday Afternoon Commute: You’re Here Until You’re Not
No one reads this, so why bother? No one posts here, so why both? No one lives forever, so why bother? And I sat in bed with a tirade stuck in my head that not even the medication could medicate out. “How can I UnBe? How can I Not? How can this loosely tethered string of characteristics that is Me stop? Where will I go? What will it feel like?” This is Tuesday afternoon’s edition of what is supposed to be Monday morning’s commute. A column that used to be a place where lovely folk would gather and share their existential happenings. But now it’s a place primarily vacant. Primarily perpetuated by habit. A fading dissociation, the entropic nature of this formerly lively website-blog-collection of-Depraves mimicking the entropic nature of it All. Nothing stays, everything ends, energy can be neither created nor destroyed but it certainly fucking disperse. This is what this anxious, rotting, jittery Meat-Bag is up to this week. Feel free to ignore me, said the Lonely Man to the Empty Hallway.
Weekend Open Bar: He’s Got A Wife And Kids!
Welcome to Weekend Open Bar. The column at the end of the Internet, and Work Week, and Conceivable Limits of Good Taste. Within these Wide Walls we saunter up to a round table at the heart of the Space-Ship. And there we unwind with musings about the weekend: what we’re eating, what we’re thinking, what we’re watching-reading-playing. Gifs and giggles and gregarious behavior.
Monday Morning Commute: Lowdown Sisyphus Up-Rock
Monday, motherfuckers. Another day at the beginning of another week. For those of us on the M-F Grind, Monday heralds yet another blitz through the whirling blades of the Existential Gauntlet. But fear not, friends. The Man has peppered our lives with another Meaningless Morsels to keep us just Fat, Happy, and Distracted Enough from pulling plugs and diving into stark abysses.
These are the Meaningless Morsels I’m enjoying this week. Please share your own.
Monday Morning Commute: Watch Your Step
Watch your fucking step. It’s a goddamn cold one out there. At least if you’re like yours truly, living in the Northeast Quadrant of the Empire Proper. But should not grouse too loudly, for I am lucky enough to be able to ignite the heating-systems on my room in the Space-Ship. Huddle up underneath blankets of Local Sporting Team, plug into the OMNI-NETS, and converse with you folk. The specific topic of our conversation? Well seeing that this is Monday Morning Commute, let us discus what we are stoked for this week. What are the TV shows, sporting events, philosophical treatises, and tumblr accounts getting you through this latest installment of grind?
Weekend Open Bar: Stumbling back to the Glue Factory
Or, in other words, the fucking work week looms. The Christmas/New Year’s Siesta is ending, and we are all shuffling back to the Glue Factory. To pay our dues. Until we become the glue. So whether you’ve already started back (I have) or you’re marching back Monday, let’s drink to the fleeting Weekend. This is the Open Bar.
Weekend Open Bar: SMASH ENNUI
Hey, friends! How are you? You may have noticed I haven’t been rockin’ and rollin’ around here much lately. And I’ve been off! For two days straight! The fuck, Caff?! Let me level with you: I’m sort of fucking exhausted with the Internet. Clickbait, Buzzword, Non-News, Hype-Piece, Funny Video, Buzzword, Clickbait, Release Date. Blah, blah, blah. My interest comes. And my interest goes. Such is the life of a bi-polar. Right now it’s scraping the bottom of the barrel.
