#December2013
Watch: NASA robot combines OCULUS RIFT + KINECT. Future rules, brah.
NASA ain’t letting the upcoming Robot Apocalypse dissuade them from utilizing current technologies. Until it strikes, of course. Then they’ll just be paste like the rest of us. Until that happens though, they’re doing jazzy things like combining the both the Oculus Rift and XB1’s Kinect. For great justice. Or great…science?
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XBOX ONE sells more than 1 MILLION UNITS WORLDWIDE on launch day. XBONIN’ THE HATERS.
I am by no means an Xbone hater. As I’ve said across the various poorly-edited posts on this site, I’ve made my amends with Microsoft. Their recalcitrance giving away to penitence more than mollified my anger. So them doing well on launch day? I ain’t got no beef.
‘CALL OF DUTY: GHOSTS’ GAMEPLAY LAUNCH TRAILER: There Will Be Dog
Almost that time of the year again. Where I buy the latest Call of Duty, ride the zeitgeist of our Rotting Times, and secretly hate myself.
Here’s the gameplay launch trailer.
‘TITANFALL’ dropping MARCH 11 for XBOX ONE, PC.
The whole “when do I need an Xbox One by?” question has been answered single-handedly by Respawn. The company behind my most-sweated next-generation title has revealed they’re dropping their game during the Ides of March. Or sometime. Sometime in March.
XBOX ONE hitting North American shelves on NOVEMBER 22.
It looks like all my mewling about possibly being stuck in the prestious generation for a week or so won’t come to pass. Microsoft’s XBONE won’t strike shelves preemptively, rather the company has opted to drop their console a week after Sony does theirs.
XBOX ONE is MAYBE/PROBABLY dropping on November 8.
Now that I’ve made my amends with Microsoft (I love you Herbie), it’s going to be difficult for me to watch the release of the XBONER-1 come and go without a purchase. Especially since I’ll be having to wait a week (A WHOLE FUCKING WEEK) for the PS4 to drop. That’s one goddamn week without my toes in the next-gen pool.
Opinions Vary: Xbox One and Sex near the punch bowl
When I was thirty-three, I was madly in love with a man named Herbert. Built like a brick shit house, and worked in a pizzeria. Herbert and I were madly in love. That’s until the day I caught him giving the old pepperoni push to one of his co-workers in the back of our 1992 Sable station wagon. I was aghast. Me holding my pepperoni, this random stranger’s rectal cavity holding my Herbert’s. I felt betrayed. Still we persisted. For a bit. Herbert and I broke up that New Year’s Eve when I found him fingering some young stud near the punch bowl, carelessly pouring spiked Kool Aid all over his balls. I didn’t stay to watch him lap it up.
‘TITANFALL’ GAMEPLAY TRAILER: The reason I’ll buy an Xbox One
Respawn Entertainment’s Xbox One exclusive has gotten itself a gameplay trailer, and my goodness. I’m not one to lean on hyperbole for descriptiveness (heh), but watching this trailer literally compelled my dong-tip to burst forth off the shaft. It fluttered about the room, running up the corners of the walls in a hysteria. After finally exhausting itself of its unexplained kinetic energy, it fell listlessly into the aquarium. Where the angelfish ate it.
Rumor: EVERY XBOX ONE in Europe coming with a copy of ‘FIFA 14’ free.
I don’t know the non-American football well. At all. However, I do know that them fuckers in Europe are bonkers for it. In fact, isn’t FIFA like the top selling franchise? So the fact that the XBONE is going to come with a free copy seems pretty fucking impressive to me. Like if they dropped the console in America packaged with Call of Battlefield: Modern Ops and a twelve-pack of Dew.
XBOX ONE ‘SEASON PASS GUARANTEES’ carries DLC ACROSS GENS. Dope ++
This is froggy fresh. One of the interesting things about this Fall is that titles are dropping across multiple generations. What if I buy Call of Duty: It’s A Doggy Dog Life on my 360, but then I snag an XBONE for Christmas? What will happen to all those wonderful maps I snagged? Microsoft? They’re actually doing me a fucking solid.
