#April2014
XBOX rolling out f**ing s**tload of original TV content in June
Xbox is rolling out a fucking panoply of original TV content starting in June. Wee?I mean, I guess this is a good thing. ‘Cause outside of Titanfall, I don’t really have a fucking reason to use my XB1 these days. Here’s hoping the initiative is the fucking tits.
No Comments
XBOX Head Guy: XBOX has “resource and ambition” to CHANGE THE WORLD. lol
C’mon Phil Spencer. I recognize that all of you Bloat-Brained Head Honcho Ding Dongs are prone to hyperbole. I get that. But how about you unfuck the gaming community’s perception of the XB1 before you blather your super-hype, nonsense-crap.
Microsoft considering “OFFICIAL 360 EMULATION’ for XB1.
C’mon, Microsoft. Get this fucking done and I’ll love you. I’m tired of juggling all my fucking consoles, AV ports, and jackin’-off socks. Make my life easier. Let me play my 360 games on my XB1. Please? Truthfully — I’d dig this way more than PlayStation Now! or whatever. I don’t want to have to pay to play fucking games I already own on my PS3. (Assuming this official emulation is free, granted, whatever, get off my cock.)
Microsoft teasing XB1 exclusive from “WONDERFUL” Japanese dev. Japan is like “lol whatev”
Microsoft is teasing us with promise of an exclusive from a “wonderful” Japanese developer. I really wonder what the fuck it can be, and how much money they’ve backed up into the gaping anus of said developer to obtain it. (In case you didn’t know, currency-to-anus transfers are the new hot phenomenon in my mind.) Cause like, with XB1 not even out in Japan yet, what sort of exclusive with a Japanese developer provide?
NO SERIOUSLY — I don’t know. Any guesses?
‘EVOLVE’ Gameplay Video & Trailer: Do The Monster Mash
Fuck yes. The minds behind Left 4 Dead have dropped a panoply of videos today for their next game, Evolve. Okay not really a fucking panoply but kiss my ass, aiight? Within these post’s walls you will have a gameplay video, and a cinematic trailer. They’re both fucking gnarly. Left 4 Dead…evolved! HAHAHA. I hate myself and my puns.
XBOX ONE Rumor Avalanche: ‘Halo 2 HD’, ‘Titanfall’ bundle, white console, and more.
Some person is shouting “YOLO” at the stars while puking dated references down their polo shirt. How else could they be behaving, if they’re just vomiting up all sorts of XB1 goodies and secrets? No clear lack of respect for timely references, or secrets. Seriously though, there’s been a goddamn avalanche of rumors revealed by this person with a Really Confusing Moniker. Most of them have me shrugging in apathy. How about you?
Hit the jump to check them out.
Microsoft buys ‘GEARS OF WAR.’ Exclusive++
Gears of War has always been a Microsoft exclusive, but now the franchise is definitely not going anywhere. The Company that Bill Built or Something has purchased the series from Epic Games. Not only that though, they’ve reclaimed series producer Rod Ferguson. I’m actually quite stoked about the enterprise.
Indignant Gasp! Microsoft pays YouTube personalities to promote Xbox One
This is a surprise! A horrible, wrenching surprise. Apparently Microsoft pays, pays! YouTube personalities to promote XB1. Here I thought these folks were bulletproof, incapable of being morally assailed.
Watch: Dude sets XBL username to “XBOX SIGN OUT”, trolls. Hilarity ensues.
This is fucking amazing. Truly next level XB1 Kinect-coated trolling. Dude-bro changes his gamertag to “Xbox Sign Out.” Pisses people off. They scream his name. They (almost) sign out. Seems simple. But brilliant. So good.
Next ‘HALO’ dropping this year. Teabag your bro with glee.
My XB1 is neat. Sitting there. Talking to me. Being like “Hey man, Kinect’s scanning your dong. Telling people six inches? LOL c’mon braj know thyself. The truth will get you free.” However outside of scanning my minuscule weiner it isn’t doing much. But if it can stay strong for the next few months, it appear it’ll be getting some Master Chief action later this year.
