#February2013
Microsoft probably revealing NEW XBOX at an event in April. Retaliation ++
Sony has been the belle of the ball for the past couple of days, after revealing their PS4. Sure, a lot of the conversation around them is in regards to their lack of a console and all the such. Even with that, Microsoft has to be feeling a bit anxious to launch their own salvo. It word be true, that salvo shall be hitting in April.
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Rumor: These are the NEXT XBOX specs. Maybe. Hell if I know.
Yo! Any tech-wizards care to explain these specs to me? They mean almost nothing. In the sense that I know they mean “things”, but I cannot tell you what those “things” translate to.
Bloomberg says next Xbox is arriving for 2013 holidays. My body is ready!
As much as I like my bank account to bathe in its own minuscule juices, I like new gaming consoles even more. So I’m more than ready to embrace the Xbox-Kinect Excelsior-720-AR wunderkind. I have been ready for awhile. If this report is to be believed, I’ve got myself another year to wait. Whatever. What is another year. That’s like 400 days, or something. 3,000 masturbation sessions, or something. I can handle this.
XBOX 720: Details spilled in XBOX WORLD. If so, I’m sprung with tech-lust.
I could say I understand the jist of these new details, but I’m just like “oh shit new Xbox details. I don’t understand them with my fat brain, but I know I want it.” Do you understand these details? Are you excited like me? It’s a cucumber in my pants, chill out.
‘XBOX 720’ technology could turn ROOMS into 3D ENVIRONMENTS. Rock.
Want to turn your room into a 3D environment used for gaming? Fuck you! Didn’t you learn anything from Bradbury’s The Veldt? For those of you unwashed automatons, your dreams could be coming true. Yes, yes. Give into the wave of complacency. Moreso than usual, obviously.
You can buy an “XBOX ‘DURANGO’ DEVELOPMENT KIT” on eBay. Uh, you do it.
There’s totally an Xbox “Durango” development kid on eBay. It totally has to be real, legit, and quantifiable. That said, how about you go and buy it, and let me know how gnarly it turns out to be. I’ll bring the popcorn and we can program Dong Wars xx69. You just need to front the overhead.
Rumor: IMAGE from the KINECT 2 sensor leaked.
Skynet is upgrading its wares, infiltrating the next generation of Kinect sensors and the shit. Soon it will be able to accurately track the motions of your hand as you masturbate. Despite turning the system off, the camera will be on. Aware. Recording your furry habits.
Microsoft Buys ‘XBOX 8’ Domain Names; Well It’s Better Than 720.
The Microsoft Leviathan has gobbled up a string of names under the “Xbox 8” umbrella. You can only think maybe they’re going to tea-bag their next console with a title that dove-tails into their upcoming operating software update.
Microsoft Issues Takedown Notices Over XBOX 720 Document. Validity ++, No?
Microsoft is dropping off takedown notices at the doors of websites hosting that leaked Microsoft Xbox 720 Wowzers document. Nothing screams “validityconfirmed!” like the Corporo-Pigs telling people to take that shit down.
XBOX 720 Document Leak Reveals $299 Price, KINECT 2, Kinect Glasses & More
Here we go! Put your boots on and prepare for the deluge cascading out of this leaked 56-page document detailing the Xbox 720. We got a price point, Kinect 2, some AR glasses, and more. Ain’t nothing more fun than corporate memos falling into the wrong (right?) hands.
