#August2013
Behold VENUS and the ULTRAVIOLET SUN
Yeah! Man! Must be the dirty undies I’ve been huffing all day, because this picture looks out of control. Just the Sun looking all sorts of outstanding because of a Venusian eclipse. The colors, man! Popping.
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‘AMERICAN HUSTLE’ TRAILER: Thieving Thieves and Rockin’ Haircuts
Here’s the trailer David O. Russel’s latest jam, American Hustle. The trailer doesn’t feature much in the way of exposition but eh, who fucking cares? Tired of seeing trailers that spit out the entire premise. Instead we’re treated to Christian Bale with righteous shitty hair, Amy Adams in a swimsuit, and Led Zepplin. A fairest of trades.
Hit the jump to check it out.
‘MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING’ TRAILER: Joss goes full Billy
Remember that Billy Shakes flick that Whedon cut last year in like nine days? Yeah, here is the trailer for it. Let me know what you think. Me? I’m not really sold. Despite Whedon being quite the heir to Billy’s witty repartee, I’m no feeling the actors in the trailer. Alas! Alack! They don’t pull off the dialogue to my liking. Does this mean I’m going to dismiss the entire endeavor? Naw, I’m still excited. Just a bit cautious, now.
‘S.H.I.E.L.D.’ TV series will be a sequel to ‘AVENGERS.’ Doi or something.
Fury, that wily bastard. It seems that Agent Coulson totally lives. When it was announced he was returning for the SHIELD television series, peoples of the Netterverse speculated he could do so via flashbacks. Not so. Not so!
‘JURASSIC PARK 4’ coming in 2014. You stoked?
Are you one of those people who wants more Jurassic Park? One classic movie, and two shitty sequels wasn’t enough for you? Buckle up.
Woman uses her breasts to smuggle cocaine. Enterprising ++
If I have learned anything from Breaking Bad, it is that drug smuggling is the mother of invention. While not nearly as cool as using an entire chicken restaurant to smuggle drugs, this enterprising lass used something quite interesting. Her bub-bub cavities.
‘OBLIVION TRAILER: Tom Cruise, science fiction, and maybe even a plot.
I wasn’t going to check out the trailer for Oblivion, but our own Eddie Not A Planet told me it held gorgeous visuals deep, deep, deep within its guts. So I did! How about that shit? After viewing it, I got a bit of a science fiction chubby for it. I’ll cop to that, and fuck that is without any clue as to what the movie is about. If there was a discernible plot, I may even be tugging nuggets all over my keyboard to the trailer. Picture that!
MUSTACHE TRANSPLANTS are a thing, and becoming more popular. Ridiculous ++
Everybody want the mustaches. Movember may be over, but that doesn’t mean you can’t grow a stache. Or try to grow one. And if you can’t? Get that bad boy grafted onto your upper lip. Don’t make any excuses, bro.
Rumor: ‘EMPIRE STRIKES BACK’ writer Lawrence Kasdan could script ‘EPISODE VIII & IX’?
Star Wars fans, go ahead and tug your bits to this rumor. It’s designed to titillate all your various nerd glands. There ain’t any shame, I promise. Draw the blinds, and get slushy in your pantaloons. Lawrence fucking Kasdan! Oh, and some other guy too.
