#March2021
Weekend Open Bar: Are You Ready?
Are you ready? Whole squad’s ready! Forgive me from quoting the tune from The Falcon and the Winter Soldier’s Super Bowl trailer! I’m just so fucking pumped for this shit! As I’ve probably puked-up many times around these parts, Bucky is my favorite motherfucker in the MCU! Just an absolute unit of brooding, healthy male bonding, and gorgeous hair. How can you not love this motherfucker! It’s impossible, and now this son of a bitch is getting a co-starring role in the latest dollop of dashing MCU madness.
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Weekend Open Bar: The Pants-Off Dance Off
Man, I can absolutely relate to Murray from The Goldbergs. Motherfucking Spring Break is here, which means it’s time to pop off them jeans! Slip into something more comfortable, and fucking flat-out vibe. It’s goddamn glorious out today on the Eastern seaboard of the Empire. I got myself a warm-ass breeze wafting into my study, I got a warm-ass can of Diet Dew flying down my gullet, and I got a warm-ass glow in my heart.
Between the weather, the longer days, and the imminent approach of our vaccinations, I’m feeling hope. Really, I’m feeling hopeful for the first time since maybe the Fall. The Winter cracked open my psyche and blasted my mind-ass. Somehow while missing my prostate, because let’s be honest: an ass-blasting focusing on the prostate is a glorious, near-heavenly experience.
Weekend Open Bar: Salt + Charcoal
Salutations, fellow denizens of the Space-Ship Omega. It is I, your over-caffeinated, mentally-compromised captain! Why, when I’m not hurtling us into the gaping maw of echo-chamber buffoonery, talking about my own dick (and how it pumped, oh did it pump for the Doom Eternal gameplay), and generally embarrassing myself, I like to open up the Open Bar on the weekend! I know, oh do I know. I’m infrequent these days. Apologies all around. Here, here. Take a moist, poorly-wrapped candy from my pocket. Here, here. Take an I.O.U, redeemable for approximately one brutal high-five and chest-bump.
Weekend Open Bar: as tasty as you let it be
It’s the freakin’ weekend, baby!
That can only mean, well, an assortment of things for yours truly. Overeating. Watching wrestling. Sleeping late. Continuing to overeat. Playing video games. Watching playoff hockey. All sorts, oh, oh, all sorts of glorious, hedonistic, self-indulgent, wildly self-masturbatory excessivism.
But! It’s the Weekend! Some come, fellow garbage lurkers. Come and spend time here in the Weekend Open Bar.
Mr. Fuji, WWE Hall of Fame Manager, Passes Away
Fuckkk! Mr. Fuji taught me a lot as a young human being on this Blue Marble. For example. Always surround yourself with talented people. Embrace uncomfortable and potentially racist depictions of your nationality. And most importantly, if someone gets in your face, blind those pieces of shit by throwing salt in their eyes.
He will be missed.
“Rowdy” Roddy Piper has passed away at age 61.
Was at the movies when my phone began blowing up from fellow wrestling fanatics, letting me know one of our heroes has passed away. Fucking Roddy Piper. Between wrestling, They Live, and his Always Sunny appearances, the good sir managed to pry his way into my heart through multiple pop culture avenues.
What’s your favorite memory of Piper? Share videos! Share images! Just share.
The Dude’s High 5s: Warriors of the Squared Circle
I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. I spent the day in my PJs playing video games and watching crappy movies, so despite me not celebrating the holiday, my ritual didn’t change. Over the course of the day I wondered what other institutions I put aside when growing older. A big one for me was wrestling. I used to be a huge fan of it. I grew up in the Attitude era. For the uninitiated, this was like growing up a Celtics fan in the 60’s (from 1959-1969 they won 9 championships). I would always get offended when people would say that wrestling was fake, its not. Like ballet, it’s choreographed, but fake? No, the athleticism is real. Today mixed martial arts fills the void that wrestling used to occupy in my life. So to end my pointless ramblings here are my favorite wrestlers of all time. CAUTION, I will be using a lot of wrestling terms. If you don’t know what they are, feel free to look them up or ask in the comments.
CM PUNK writing introduction to ‘AvX’ hardcover. That’s about right.
If you’re late to the game or new to the site, it is worth mentioning that I think AvX was a steaming pile of “refresh”-powered nonsense. I don’t think anything proves my point more than the fact that they’ve brought in a wrestler to do the introduction. I know he’s a legit comics fan, but. I don’t know. I suppose there isn’t really any purpose to bringing in someone with insight to a slug fest batch of hot water crap.
