Bask in awe, you fucking geeks! Even at my height of World of Warcraft bonery, I didn’t buy any of their collector’s edition. And with my interest in Cataclysm tepid at best, I sure as fuck ain’t springing for this $80 son of a bitch. Of course I’m still getting the game, since Blizzard owns my soul. But mean, I’m saving up for the Intergalactic Nerdcore Mass Effect 3 package, I can’t be fucking frivolous.

If you are a dedicated douchenozzle though, this is what the package entails.

Kotaku:

Art of the Cataclysm art book, featuring 176 pages of never-before-seen images from the archives of the Blizzard Entertainment cinematics department and the World of Warcraft development team, as well as progressive visuals from multiple stages of development.

Exclusive in-game pet: he may not be a breaker of worlds just yet, but Lil’ Deathwing will still proudly accompany heroes on their struggle to save Azeroth from his much, much larger counterpart.

Behind-the-scenes DVD with over an hour of developer interviews and commentaries, as well as a special Warcraft retrospective examining the rich gaming history of the Warcraft universe.
Soundtrack featuring 10 epic new tracks from Cataclysm, including exclusive bonus tracks.

Special-edition mouse pad depicting Deathwing menacing the ravaged continents of Azeroth.

World of Warcraft Trading Card Game cards, including a 60-card starter deck from the Wrathgate series, two extended-art cards, and two Collector’s Edition-exclusive hero cards, marking the first appearance of goblin and worgen heroes in the TCG.

Full disclosure? I actually think almost all of the content is dope, save for the Wizards Cards and the mouse pad. Making-Of DVDs are some of my favorite shit in the world, and the artwork of WoW has always been gorgeous. Buy it for me, someone, treat me to a glorious Christmas present for all the prose I rattle off for you.

Blizzard pretty much has a license to print money. Because World of Warcraft addicts do retarded things. Like pay twenty-five dollars for celestial donkeys to ride around with in-game. And I’ll be honest, I’ve been tempted to be that asshole. However, now Blizzard is going to charge people to use the game’s Auction House outside of the game.

via kotaku:

Blizzard has rolled out the first phase of the remote World of Warcraft auction house, allowing players to browse auctions on the web or via iPhone, with subscription-based bidding and auctioning coming soon.

Earlier this year, Blizzard revealed that it was working on a remote auction house, allowing players outside of the game to browse, bid, and post auctions from the web and mobile devices like the iPhone and iPod touch. Now that service becomes a reality, with the 2.0 version of the World of Warcraft Mobile Armory now available as a free download via iTunes, along with a page on the web-based Armory dedicated to auction stuff.

Players can browse auctions, get notifications on when their items sell, and view the status of their pending auctions for free. Anything more than that, is going to cost you.

Coming soon, players will be able to pay $2.99 a month for the premium features of the Remote Auction House. Subscribing will allow players to bid on auctions, create new auctions from items in their in-game inventory, and collect gold from items sold, all without ever having to log into the game.

Several things.

First, I realize it’s an out of game service, so maybe it’s not fair to complain about them charging for it. But I’m going to anyways.

Secondly, I can’t imagine a world where I need to POST AUCTIONS SO BADLY that I am going to pay THREE FUCKING DOLLARS A MONTH to monitor bullshit. If I was rich, sure. Whatever. But I ain’t. And most of the people I know who play WoW are either on Food Stamps, unemployed leeching college assholes like myself, or suffer from disabilities such as Lazy Assholitis. We’re not rich folks. So it seems extremely, insanely luxuriant.

What a terrible idea, suck the players into the game even when they’re away from the keyboard. Or maybe what a brilliant idea. Fucking posting stacks of Heavy Borean Leather from the dinner table.

The sickness spreads.

I’m from Boston, so I’m torn on Curt Schilling. The dude delivered us two World Series championships. But he’s also a loud-mouthed blowhard conservative. Being from Boston I’m a child-aborting, same-sex kissing monster. But there is one thing I can assure you, Warcraft is going to break Curt Schilling.

Why? I’ll tell you. Yesterday, Curt Schilling said that he was considering a run at Ted Kennedy’s vacant senate seat. When pressed on it today however, Schilling said that while he was serious, it was going to take some serious thought. Why? According to Steve Buckley on WEEI radio today, it’s because a lot of his money is tied up in 38 Studios, his gaming company. And what are they developing? A fucking MMO. Oh Curt Schilling, you should have given me that money! I probably would have used it to buy an autograph from you.

A lot of Curt Schilling’s money is tied up in a gaming company, that seriously thinks it can compete with WoW, WoW2, and the Star Wars MMO.

Warcraft will break Curt Schilling if this is true. And they will dance on his smoldering remains.