#July2014
Nintendo posts $97 Milli loss last quarter. Luigi gives console market the Death Stare
I’ll cop to it. I didn’t buy a Wii U when Mario Kart 8 came out. So I hold myself personally responsible for Nintendo’s ass-sucking financial quarter. I mean — surely I must lead by example, right? I gotta get on this.
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E3 2014 MASTERPOST: CLOSE-OUT, ASS-OUT, VIDEOS & NEWS COMPENDIUM
OKAY FOLKS. Listen up. Between the alimony hearings, the drug use, the fact that Feedly went down for two fucking days, and my favorite butt plug melting in my dishwasher (which required an immediate journey to the upper mountains of the Appalachians to replace), there’s some E3 STUFF I DIDN’T GET TO. However, I also posted a fucking fuckload. Here in one batch is everything I’ve caught from E3. Posted, and previously unposted. Sorted by console. Don’t see your fave announcement/game? Hit the comments. I’ll add it. I know I’m missing a lot. Also! Use this space just to shoot the E3 shit. Read the rest of this entry »
E3 2014: Nintendo reveals Wii U ‘ZELDA’ game. Obvs coming in 2015.
I’ve been wanting a Wii U for a bit. Despite not selling particularly well, it’s amassed quite a sexy repertoire of first-party games. As seemingly all Nintendo systems as wont to do. Now it appears that I finally have a deadline for when I must acquire one by. Sort of. Nebulously. 2015. Why then? It’s when the new Zelda will be dropping.
Uh. Nintendo is eyeing the HEALTH MARKET for new platform.
Despite what this site and many others (we’re stupid together!) reported a couple of days ago, Nintendo emphatically denied taking their software to other consoles. Sort of. I mean when Nintendo president Iwata says the company “will use smart devices to attract customers to its hardware”, it feels like we’re delving into Obi-Wan speak. How are you going to use phones to entice customers? Demos, perhaps? Who knows. Vagaries like a fucking whirlwind. What do we know about the company? Well, it appears that their next move is…into the health market?
After crap console sales, Nintendo “thinking about a new business structure.”
I want Nintendo to succeed because Nintendo is woven into the very fabric of who I am. Their games sculpted this rotting psycho-carcass that is lodged in my cranium. That said, I have’t bought a Wii U. I even want one, but I haven’t been able to get myself there. Already got too many consoles. Only so many HDMI ports. Spoiled geek problems.
Opinions Vary: I Miss Nintendo
Two weeks from tomorrow, the PlayStation Fun Machine the Fourth drops. Three weeks from tomorrow, the Microsoft Xboned Before It Arrives will hit shelves. With the console gaming world embroiled in the debate as to the merit of both machines, an olden warrior sits in the corner. Sales dismal, library laughable, nary a soul gives a fuck about the Nintendo Wii U.
Myself included.
I miss the days when I gave a fuck about Nintendo.
BETHESDA VP OF PR: NINTENDO’S time to convince publishers about WII U is LIKE WAY PASSED
Sorry Nintendo Friends. (And listen, I’ll end up buying a Wii U at some point because of Mario Nebula or whatever, so it isn’t like I hate the company.) That huge third-party push that you’ve been waiting for the Wii U to receive is probably never going to happen. According to the VP Czar of Bethesda’s Propaganda Branch, the window during which Nintendo could have convinced publishers to come to their last-next-somewhere generation system has closed.
Nintendo president calls PS4, XBOX ONE launch line-ups “MEH.”
This is amazing. Reggie Something-Such has spent the last year seeing his Wii U largely forgotten by the world. But that ain’t stopping him from throwing around some disparaging remarks about his competition. When asked what he thought of the Xbox One and PS4 line-ups, duder dropped a “meh.”
OUCH: NINTENDO sold 160,000 WII U CONSOLES in THE WORLD last quarter.
Buh-buh-buh, it’s a tablet as a controller! How can you peons not understand the irrefutable awesomeness that is an over-priced under-powered peripheral masquerading as a console? Fools! Invalids!
E3 vs PR – Part II: The Whirlwind of E3’s Media Days
The Monday and Tuesday of the annual E3 week are always a fascinating pair of days to watch unfold from a PR perspective. The show floor opens its doors to attendees on Tuesday afternoon, but by then, an entire story has been told to the media through a series of conferences, briefings and events that kick off the week.
E3 seems unlike any other industry trade show on the planet. It’s equivalents in other industries, from television, to film, to fashion, to food, all seem tame by comparison. At least, from the perspective of public relations.
