Jesus fucking Christ, friends! Is it really happening? Have I emerged from the mucus-covered womb of Oblivion? To resurrect the comic book column? Well, powder my scrotum and call me your baby boy! I have. I have! It’s been over four fucking years since I last babbled incoherently about the funny books! The sequential sweethearts! And in that time? Darkness! A pall over my comic book life. Like, no, seriously. I stepped foot in a comic book store for the first time in forever yesterday.

It was a glorious moment, not unlike Superman coming out of his Tomb-Thing, with a rich mullet and a black costume. At the same time? I have fucking no idea what’s going on in the world! Like, at all. So, that’s why I have CLEVERLY rebranded this column, to celebrate my reentry into this glorious world. So These Are Comic Books! Get it? No? Yes? Fuck you!

Seriously though, I need you fuckers to participate in this weekly New Comic Book Day column! Now, more than ever. ‘Cause let me tell you, I’m fucking clueless about the world these days.

Per usual, I’ll go first! But I hope to see you in the comments.

Here’s what I snagged this week.

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Oh dip! I’m seriously fucking busy today! But I’ve strapped a rocket to my well-oiled taint (to prevent burn), said my prayers to the Gods, Old and New, and I’m flying past the Space-Ship to ignite the Weekend Open Bar! The weekly two-day siesta-spanning column at the End of Good Taste and the Internet! Come in here, hammered! Come in here, bored! Come in here, well-feed and looking for conversation. The name of the game is sharing your weekend delights with likeminded, depraved individuals (hi!). Share plans, thoughts, meals, movies, games, gabbing. Anything goes!

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