#May2014
Wait. KEVIN FEIGE ordered the ‘ANT-MAN’ rewrites? Interesting++
So after like four days or whatever (three years if you’re counting the time I spent in my Time Shed after this calamity), I’m not as distraught about Edgar Wright leaving Ant-Man. Actually. That’s probably a lie. But even as the wounds try to heal, more news continues to trickle out. When this story first broke, one of the surprising morsels was that the script rewrites were ordered by someone above MCU Czar Mind-Lord, Kevin Feige. But apparently! That ain’t true.
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Official logo for ‘AGENT CARTER.’ Dopefreshnesstime.
Ya’ll ready for this?! *Cue 1990s music* *Watch in horror as I shimmy down my pants revealing a Winter Soldier thong* *My parents aren’t crying because I’m doing this at Mother’s Day dinner* *They’re weeping with joy* *You’re all welcome*
‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’ Trailer #2: A look at all the dickheads
Here’s a second trailer for Whatever Turtle Guys Botox Lips Amy Poehler’s Ex-Husband, the movie. You can get a good look at all the turtles, plus a sick glance at how Michael Bay has stolen Batman’s reveal scene from Begins for his Turtles Extravaganza.
XBOX rolling out f**ing s**tload of original TV content in June
Xbox is rolling out a fucking panoply of original TV content starting in June. Wee?I mean, I guess this is a good thing. ‘Cause outside of Titanfall, I don’t really have a fucking reason to use my XB1 these days. Here’s hoping the initiative is the fucking tits.
No duh: HBO orders TWO MORE SEASONS OF ‘GAME OF THRONES’
Game of Thrones, or as we call it around the office White People Fucking Their Siblings On Dragons w/Politics, has been renewed for a fifth and sixth season. This shouldn’t be surprising, as the show has slowly begun to consume our pop culture psyche at something like Breaking Badian levels.
‘EPISODE VII’ News: It’s f**king SHOOTING NOW; casting ain’t complete.
Well here’s a little news to get my minuscule lightsaber dropping with residual Force leaks. (Or something. Man, I’m played out with my already dumb lightsaber-as cock-metaphors.) Turns out that Episode VII is already shooting, despite the fucking casting not being done. My assumption? Filming locations for action sequences or some shit.
PATTON OSWALT to guest star on ‘AGENTS OF SHIELD.’ Wee?
Nary a day ago I was complaining about Patton Oswalt Fatigue. Yes — he can be funny. Yes — he likes the same things I do! Wee! But it feels as though Oswalt’s almost in everyone’s fucking face about his nerd credentials. You don’t need to flaunt that geek swagger, dude. Just wear your badge and be proud of it. But low and behold, the Good Lord Odin fucking hates me. For he heard my protestations and has responded by ingratiating Oswalt into yet another dork phenomenon that I dig.
New ‘ORPHAN BLACK’ Season 2 Trailer: All Your Clones Are Belong To Us
New Orphan Black trailer! New Orphan Black trailer! Drop down and get your clone on? Or something?
Just hit the jump.
SHAQ wants your asses to fund new ‘SHAQ FU’ game, ‘Shaq Fu: A Legend Reborn.’
Self-aggrandizing douchebag basketball Hall of Famer actor rapper video game star Shaq once had a video game. It was really fucking terrible in a sort of really fucking awesome manner. Now out of pro hoops and oscillating between getting fat and sports commentary, the athlete-guy is returning to his true love. His video game franchise.
Archaeologists find 800,000 year-old footprints in England. Alien masters++
Oh sure you’re going to tell me this is some amazing discovery of human history. “Human” footprints found on a beach in England. YEAH. OKAY. I’ll be goddamned if this isn’t an obvious find regarding our alien masters. The ones that culled our existent DNA from the goop of our primordial sea-cells.
