#July2014
Warren Ellis + Mike Allred = …Bacardi graphic novel?
Warren Ellis and Mike Allred are teaming up for a Bacardi graphic novel. Which is something you definitely don’t see coming. Though to be truthful, it is probably folly to plot Warren Ellis’ moves. And I suppose Mike Allred’s too.
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Monday Morning Commute: MIND-TRAVEL the UNIVERSE!
Close your eyes. Take a breath. It’s going to be okay.
It doesn’t matter if you’re out of gas money or your car’s exploded or you’re in too much pain to get off the couch. `Cause that’s not what real traveling’s about. In any of those circumstances, you can still close your eyes and tune out. And right when you think all you’re perceiving is the Great Nothing, you’re going to realize that you’ve fallen into the Wonderful Everything.
I want you to mind-travel the universe.
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Welcome to the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE! I’m going to highlight some of the ways I’ll be staving off existential crises and reinstalling hope. After you see what I’m doing, hit up the comments section and share your own prospective week-activities.
C’mon, don’t be a lamebrain!
ELLIS and SHALVEY leaving ‘MOON KNIGHT.’ Aw, man.
I spent a good amount of time (okay not forever, but for a guy with ADD it felt like typing it took eons) in this week’s comics column talking about how I was going to check out Moon Knight. ‘Cause Ellis/Shalvey. And now it turns out the duo that had me torqued on the title are leaving. However! It is none other than Brian Wood and Greg Smallwood taking over the reins to the Moon Steed. So, I’m conflicted.
Warren Ellis’ NEW F**KING NOVEL, ‘NORMAL’ has been revealed
How the fuck has this news been out in the Nether-Webs for two days without me noticing it? I’d be more outraged, but frankly all the chemicals in my system are murmuring “shh, shh, slumber now” in my psychological ear. So instead I’m just going to be FUCKING STOKED at the news that Ellis’ next novel has been revealed. Then go to bed. Immediately. Maybe dream of the bearded one, hovering over me. Maybe rubbing my ears, helping me along the road to Morpheus’ haunts.
Monday Morning Commute: The Relevance of Rogues
Listen to the rogues that you come across.
These scoundrels are going to tell you things that make you uncomfortable. Hell, they might just tell you that your way of life is wrong, that it’s contributing to greater evils. When you give them an open ear, they’ll fill it with all sorts of detritus. Stuff that’s bound to upset your sensibilities. Ideas that make you want to vomit. Maybe they’ll ask you to chew on the notion that everything you believe is a lie. They’ll be vulgar and angry and a bit discomfiting.
And you need to listen to them.
`Cause right or wrong, if we don’t entertain roguish ideas then we have no right to accept the easy ones. Sure, some of the time the doomsayers and fringe-dwelling miscreants are wrong. But we can’t know that for sure unless we give `em a chance. And every now and then, when the blue moon turns blood red, the rogues are right. And when this is the case, they’re usually showing us that Daddy Society’s been belting the most hapless, defenseless of his children.
Listen to the rogues.
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Welcome to the Monday Morning Commute! I’m going to highlight some of the pop-culture junk I’ll be snackin’ on over the course of the week. Then, you hit up the comments and share your own recipes for entertainment-treats. It’s show-and-tell amongst the crew and passengers of Spaceship OL.
LIFT OFF!
Warren Ellis + Tula Lotay teaming up for ‘SUPREME: BLUE ROSE.’ F**k yes, that ‘SUPREME.’
Warren Ellis is well…my dark lord. And master. Tula Lotay is a talent that I’ve been following religiously on the Insta-Gram for a couple of years now. The idea that the two of them are teaming up on something as out-of-right-field and eclectic as a Supreme book? Has me jazzed.
WARREN ELLIS got new comic ‘TREES’ coming from IMAGE. Jason Howard on art.
Fuggity fuck yes! Warren Ellis is getting back into the creator-owned comics game. Ellis along with Jason Howard is bringing Trees to Image, and you can probably feel the Force-ripples from my cascading dong thunder from wherever you are. While I’m pretty “meh” about his latest novel, and really “ehhhh” about Moon Knight, the author diving back into the world of his own sequential-art-creations is fantastigasm.
Monday Morning Commute: Witch Craft is Magic?
The Pie-Eyed former-bibliophile was flabbergasted, which was new for him. Drunk? Awkward? Socially maladjusted? Oh, he was plenty comfortable with these. But in this moment, he was straight-up flabbergasted.
“Goddamn boy, what’re you lookin’ so flabbergasted for?”
“‘Cause you says,” a youthful forehead was slapped by its own palm, “youhadda shackkup with a witch. A witch?!”
Absalom bellowed, “Oh yes! There’s no two ways about it, Susy’s a witch! Hell, she has to be the witchiest witch I’ve ever come across in my time!”
“You mean with a cauldron and potions and brum-stick and all?”
“Well, not exactly.”
Pie-Eyed was making the most of his ever-dwindling faculties to figure out what the hell Absalom meant. He lifted his drink to his lips, hesitated for a moment, and then drained the entire thing. “Wait! Wait! Did she have magical powers?!”
“Yes and no.” Absalom chucked to himself. “I mean, we can get into all sorts of discussions about ‘magic’ and of what it is composed. Access to supernatural realms? ‘Any sufficiently advanced technology,’ is that it? The ability to astound, to create scenarios that push the limits of imagination? Artistry? The ability to realize to turn an idea into a tangible product? Do any, or all, of these constitute magic?”
“Uhh…”
“So we’re coastin’ on fumes, and I swear to the Maker that we sputter to a stop right in Susy’s driveway! No damn brakes or nothin’! The jalopy croaks right in the driveway.”
“It, it,” Pie-Eyed paused to burp, but continued, “it was kismet?”
“It sure seemed like it at the time.” Absalom sratched his grey-goin’-white stubble and flagged down the bartender in the hopes of getting some peanuts. “There we were, a carful of over-eager youths, sweatin’ testosterone and hankerin’ booze. And what was before us? A cabin that looks more like a palace, set woods that look more like a national park, with bonfires lightin’ up a keg-party that looks more like Saturnalia!”
“Betcha couldn’t wait to get outtathat car!”
“I’d take that bet – I stayed right where I was, didn’t unbuckle or nothin’.”
Once again, Pie-Eyed was flabbergasted.
“I know what you’re thinkin.’” Absalom swooped in with a preemptive strike. “How could I sit in the car with the prospect of inebriation and fornication mere yards before me? Well, I’ll tell ya,” the old-timer took a rip of Pepsi. “It’s `cause I knew about Susy’s reputation. I’d never met her before, but we ran in the same circles. And the word was that she was a goddamn man-eater. A seductress. A master of cardiac-vivisection. After I’d made the call to see if we could crash at her place, I told my crew that I’d be sleepin’ in the car and encouraged to do the same.”
“They lissen toya?”
“Hell no! The car’d barely come to a rest when those monkey-brains were already runnin’ towards the coeds, practically unzippin’ their flies as they went.”
Absalom Fabliaux, ever the consummate gentleman, slid the bowl of peanuts to the Pie-Eyed intern. When a passerby attempted to filch a peanut, Señor Fabliaux grabbed the interloper by the collar, growled that the “Yuppie Scumsucker better drop my friend’s nut,” and then dispatched him with a firm shove.
Pie-Eyed was grateful.
“So, wuddya wake up inna morning? Allyur friends hanged over and witthur pants down?”
“I wish. At about three in the mornin’ I wake up to find my buddy Urie frantically bangin’ on the window, screamin’ for help.”
“What wuzzit?!”
“To quote Urie: ‘You’re right, Susy’s a witch – she’s turned our friends into fucking pigs!’”
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Welcome to the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE!
I’m going to show you some of the ways I’ll be keepin’ myself entertained over the next few days. Then, you (as an ever-faithful contributor to the Spaceship OL passenger-community), will hit up the comments section and do the same. Before all’s said and done, we’ll have had a nice round of digital show’n’tell.
Break the glass and grab your Emergency Word-Weapon!
WARREN ELLIS is relaunching ‘MOON KNIGHT’, hanging out in NYC with the character.
I’m going to buy this Moon Knight by my master. Don’t get me wrong. The problem is that every time there is a new Marvel title announced by Ellis I (perhaps irrationally) hold the development responsible. Responsible for what? Getting in the way of my fucking Doktor Sleepless. Yeah I know there is probably not correlation. I know! Leave me alone.
KELLY SUE DECONNICK and WARREN ELLIS co-writing ‘AVENGERS ASSEMBLE.’
Hey! Who needs new Doktor Sleepless when Ellis can churn out yet another fucking Avengers title, am I rite? Eh, who am I kidding. Bitterness aside, I’m sure I’ll enjoy this little ditty.
