#July2014
Leaked: Samsung’s VR Headset design. Rockin’ that Virtual Boy vibe
Samsung’s virtual reality headset design has hit the internet. Leaked right out the drooling maw of the NetterWebs’ guts. And man, is it Virtual Boy as fuck.
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Oculus Rift-compatible CONTROL VR GLOVES let you get Johnny Mnemonical
Fuck yeah! How is a Console Cowboy supposed to surf the CyberScape without some gnarly VR gloves? And a body suit? Eh? Answer me that, Zuckerberg and Carmack! Ya Fucks! It’s totally killing the metaphor, man. Having to type and shit. Thankfully Control VR got our asses covered.
Friendship: OCULUS helping SAMSUNG on their VR Headset
Corporate friendship! More like “mutually assured market dominance!”, but let me think of rainbows. Rainbows firing straight up my ass, rocketing out my cock in an ejaculation-prism that wows everyone in the football stadium. Wait — where were we? Oh! Samsung and Oculus totally jerking off one another in the VR market.
Oculus Rift is coming to Chuck E. Cheese. Oh word?
Chuck E. Cheese is getting on the fucking Oculus Rift wagon. But at this point, who the fuck isn’t? The company is going to use The Technology of the moment to create a virtual ticket blaster. Though for a kid’s place that amusement seems ill named.
Sony announces “PROJECT MORPHEUS” VR Headset.
Sony has revealed their VR headset, dubbed “Project Morpheus.” Maybe I’m just old and showing my age, but I don’t really get up for this. If sitting in front of a video game isn’t already a Dystopia Made Real, completely detaching from others in your own house and rummaging around a virtual world seems a final consummation. On the other hand though, gimme the Black Sun from Snow Crash (my usual refrain).
Oculus adds former VALVE VR ENGINEER to staff. Poaching get?
I’m just imbuing this story with all sorts of things that aren’t true. Probably. Probably made-up. Like this dude who has left Valve for Oculus was totally poached from The Gabe Company. Top secret dinners. Libations and young sacrifices promised. He signed with Oculus in blood, as John Carmack stood in the corner jerking off over an original printing of Atlas Shrugged. That’s what I envision. ‘Cause if I don’t, it’s just moar “blah blah VR is wonderful, blah blah” rhetoric.
OCULUS has raised another $75 MILLI in funding for the OCULUS RIFT.
Oculus continues to cobble together huge sums of money in order to fund their Oculus Rift gadget. That’s a serious amount of cash for a serious gadget that is giving serious dorks serious priapisms.
