#June2014

Oculus Rift-compatible CONTROL VR GLOVES let you get Johnny Mnemonical

VR

Fuck yeah! How is a Console Cowboy supposed to surf the CyberScape without some gnarly VR gloves? And a body suit? Eh? Answer me that, Zuckerberg and Carmack! Ya Fucks! It’s totally killing the metaphor, man. Having to type and shit. Thankfully Control VR got our asses covered.

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FACEBOOK buys OCULUS RIFT. My bunghole goes virtual.

Oculus.

Facebook has bought Oculus Rift. This is either the worst thing ever, or the idea of a virtual reality wherein I can finally attend to my dreams of surfing the Metaverse as a console cowboy is coming true. Most likely though — you’re all just going to be able to see my tattered anus scraps in all the dimensions you could ever ask for. I look forward to offending everyone in new, amazing ways.

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