#June2014
‘GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY’ poster features The Rocket and the Tree
Makes sense that the first character poster for Guardians of the Galaxy is trumping up the Rocketing Raccoon and the Tree Guy. The fuzzy one is seeming like a soon-to-be-star, and Disney hasn’t missed a chance to point out that his body guard is voiced by Vinny Diesel. Behold the full version post-cut.
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First ‘GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY’ movie promo image is like A MOTLEY SPACE CREW.
I say goddamn yeah! The first promo image for Guardians of the Galaxy has dropped. It features the ragtag gang of space fuckers all lined up. Probably being busted for drinking too much and letting Rocket pull his furry balls out in some intergalactic cantina.
Hit the jump to peep it.
VIN DIESEL is OFFICIALLY IN ‘GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY.’ Uhokaywhatever
Yeah, I didn’t know this wasn’t official already. Vin Diesel is in Guardians of the Galaxy. As Groot. Which we also knew. Pretty unexciting news. I was hoping he’d be Thanos. You know, drag racing his intergalactic space-ship against Andy from Guardians of Parks and Rec or whatever before throwing down with Tony Stark. Or something. It’s late.
VIN DIESEL only has ONE LINE OF DIALOGUE in ‘GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY.’ All that’s f**king needed.
Vin Diesel only has one line in Guardians of the Galaxy. Am I sad? Not even. When you’re Big Vincent Diesel Baby, do you really need more than one line to affect the outcome of a movie? I don’t think so. When you have the hot, thunderous, deep pipes of Vinny, a mere handful of words is all you need to change the course of a movie. Or history.
VIN DIESEL originally met with MARVEL regarding a NEW IP. OH TO DREAM.
Fuck whatever set of circumstances has dragged Vin Diesel away from the opportunity to create a new IP in the Marvel Movie Universe. Clearly it wasn’t Marvel saying no. No one could be that daft. No one! So shame on whatever sort of Cosmic Joke is responsible for this. Shame.
Vin Diesel: “I CAN’T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT VISION”, which is SAYING SOMETHING.
This is one of those “No comments” that actually sort of is a fucking comment. You know? Big Poppa Furious was asked about his role in the Marvel Universe, but declined to offer specifics. He did however promise big news at the end of the month.
VIN DIESEL totally NOT PLAYING IT COOL about potential ‘AVENGERS 2’ ROLE.
Man. Doesn’t Vinny D’s recent behavior remind you a lot of the time that Sean Young lost her mind whilst campaigning for the role of Catwoman? Sweet Holy Moley, Vin. Try and keep your geek-cock locked up in them expensive-ass jeans at least until they offer you the role. Amirite?
MARVEL wants to meet with VIN DIESEL. RIDE OR DIE as THANOS, AMIRITE?
OH SHIT. I knew I had been good this year. Said my prayers. Eaten my vegetables. How else can I explain what is obviously the greatest casting that Marvel hasn’t made quite yet? The Studio that Tony Built has requested a meeting with one of the stars of This Summer’s Best Movie (So Far), and I’m half-giddy, half-delirious at the world we are living in.
‘FAST & FURIOUS 6’ FASTEST (NOS POWERED?) MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND EVER.
Fast & Furious 6 has suffered the glory of having the biggest Memorial Day weekend opening ever. Ever! Just think about that. Me? I’m fucking fine with it. In fact, I hope people read the news and begin uncontrollably vomiting all over themselves. I caught the film last night. Great fun. There was a time when the franchise took itself seriously, but with this latest installment it is clear they have lost their mind. Shitting on physics, bro-dude posturing everywhere. Gorgeous action sequences. Frankly, it’s everything I want in a popcorn flick. However, I may have lost my mind.
OFFICIAL ‘FAST & FURIOUS 6’ images arrive. Flex and oil yourself, bros.
Oil your fucking shit! Get your best homoerotic pose on! Prepare for the blood bath of misplaced semen and phallic objects that is the newest installment in the Fast & Furious franchise. We got ourselves a fast-paced (ha!) batch of new images for you to chomp upon. Heck yeah!
