#June2012
Buy These F**king Comics! – June 13, 2012: Peter Parker Pederast
Hey friends! It’s time. Time to make the comic book list. I am endeavoring to craft this list amid a steady stream of flu-powered sweat dribbling down my dapper dome. Wipe, wipe, wipe my brow and then I continue soldiering on. Though I may be sickened even as tomorrow falls, I’ll take respite in knowing that I shall be sweating my grimy paws over some new funny books. Consider this my shamanistic powwow. I will share the titles that I hope shall pull me through my delirium. You follow up this vision quest by dropping the titles that you have staked out this week.
Don’t know what’s dropping? Hit up ComicList.
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Buy These F**king Comics! – May 30, 2012: Batman And His Douchebag Bourgeois Buddies
Weeks like this are a special treat. Fat off the flesh of animal and the oak sodas after celebrating Memorial Day, nary a moment has passed after returning to reality and it is already Comic Book Day. None the less, it is the finest of interstitial days, an Island of Relief in the middle of the work week. This is the inglorious column where we discuss the funny rags we’re snagging on a given Wednesday. Per usual this is a douche-free zone, and if my poor taste results in me not dropping a title you’re interested in, by all means alley-oop a recommendation.
Don’t know what’s coming out? Hit up ComicList.
Lemire Announces End of ‘SWEETH TOOTH’ With December’s Issue #40. Frown.
I didn’t see this one coming. Jeff Lemire has announced that his creator-owned title Sweet Tooth will be concluding with issue #40 this December.
COMICS WE’RE BUYING THIS WEEK: Experimenting On The Prophets And Bat-Men
Ahoy, good friends and passive enemies. This is Caff-Pow, and I’m here to guide you on this most glorious of days. Wednesday. The day that new comic book arrives on shelves and in digi-places, offering those of us who subscribe to the paneled page a new dosage of our narcotic. Here in this column we all gather around and share the jams, joints, dosages, dopeness and other assorted nonsenses we’re buying this week. I’ll go first. It only seems fitting I show you mine before you show me yours. Not sure what’s coming out? Hit up ComicList.
COMICS WE’RE BUYING THIS WEEK: Crabapples, Breast-Feeding, and Aliens. We Have Win!
Come one, come all into the rodeo of splash-page-ultra-narrative death. This is Comics We’re Buying This Week, the column where we gather in a neat circle and share the new funny books that are exciting us. It’s communal. Like the showers. Like the water fountain. I go first. Don’t lag behind. This week is replete with eccentric wunder-artists, premiere issues, and breast milk. It’s going to be fun.
Don’t know what’s coming out this week? Hit up ComicList. Excuses removed!
Variant Covers: Ignite The Brandon Graham 2K12 Mindwarp!
Variant Covers. This is the venue for me to wank to the comic books dropping in a particular week that I’m interested in. It’s generally capes heavy, because when I was younger I myself was heavy. As always, you folk are encouraged to share the shit you’re checking out this week. Peep the deets at ComicsList. It’s show and tell without the creepy Uncle and lollipops. Bummer about the lollipops, agreed.
Variant Covers: Alan Moore’s Beard Is Your God Now.
There’s! There’s! There’s comic books dropping this week. As per every week, lest the Good Lords strike me dead. I can’t fathom living in a world without the weekly comic book shuffle. Snag the rags, dissect the diegesis and party until my pants come off. This is Variant Covers, the column where I blather about the funny books dropping this week that are keeping my sanity afloat.
Variant Covers: Thor and Odin Fight For The Hammer-Penis. The Conclusion!
While I’m writing this — assuredly not while you’re reading this — I’m sitting in a desolate café room on campus cranking out this column. Thinking of tomorrow, of comic books, of narrative-image fusion. Momentary escape. Fuck I love the funny books. I love sitting here, a momentary reprieve in a ten-hour day writing about them.
This is Variant Covers.
I’m Caffeine Powered.
These are the books I’m interested in this week.
Variant Covers: Spiders, Red Wings, and Frankenstein’s Monsters.
Every Wednesday I’m granted a brief reprieve from the quiet of my own mind. Every Wednesday in the form of images and words I’m given a myriad of different Universes to momentarily inhabit. Bulging muscles and metaphysical pontifications. Heroics and psychological demons. Every week. What a gift.
This is Variant Covers. Comic book column. The comics I’m snagging on a given week, or stoked upon. What are you reading? I’m interested.
Variant Covers: Scalps, Stretchy Junk, and Futurists.
It’s that mid-summer moment where the comic books are twisting in my greasy palms, affronted by humidity and my general toxicity. Comic books! One of the great stalwarts of summers, the MEGA-EVENTS coming out weekly. Say what you will about the general quality of the EXPLODEY TIME STORY ARCS that permeate the shelves during the summer, I’ve come to need them just as a means of passing time. Like marking days off a calendar, they’re there. And they’re omnipresent. Keeping me company.
Like the drunk Uncle at the Christmas parties who you thinks annoys you, but then when he dies in a horror shit-show of cirrhosis and bloody vomiting, you miss him under the mistletoe. Trying to kiss your Mom, his first cousin.
I don’t know what I’m writing about anymore. This is Variant Covers, your weekly take on the tasty licks hitting comic books shelves.
