For some reason I never really contemplated how much money  Gabe Newell has in his rather sizable pockets. Sure he is the head of Valve, honcho behind Steam. Perhaps the proud owner of a new console. Even with all that considered, I didn’t think he had a billi. Well, as I am wont to be, I am wrong. Wrong like woah.

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So. Like the ancient proverb says, when it leaks info, it pours. Not only is Valve maybe-probably-definitely working on a console, but we may have our first look at it.

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Here’s a bananas one. There’s mutterings picking up about a Valve console. Yeah, brah. Completionists like me are eyeballing another console they have to buy or the voices in their head will tell mother about the sticky furred stuffed animals behind the couch. Wait, what? Anyways, it may be real. But it won’t  be like a console as generally thought.

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[By: G-e-e-r-s | Via]

Sean Keenan has created some Half-Life 2 movie posters, making my need for the next installment of The Freeman’s existence. Some of them are dope, some of them are just The Dark Knight Half-Life.

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Pranks! Portal! This shit has it all! Even a fucking shitload of fucks, shits, and exclamation points!
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A clear wielder of the Third Eye over at Reddit has envisioned the ultimate: a Morgan Freeman x Half-Life 2 mash-up, and then used his talents to illustrate such a boon to humanity.

Hit the jump to check it out.

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We, the followers of the Free Man, demand Half-Life 3. Valve laughs at us. Points at us. According to this hilarity, also mocks us with HL3 t-shirts.

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God bless the original Half-Life, and particularly its opening. Though now old as fuck, whenever I think of the franchise there’s a glorious glimmer in my soul. The opening to the original game has gotten a live-action adaptation and it’s fantastic. Read the rest of this entry »

Left 4 Dead was dope as hell. Valve announced they were going to release a sequel. L4D fans rejoiced, right? Well, most of us. But then there’s always the dillholes of the gaming community. They grumbled that it was being shoved out, blah blah blah, too quickly, blah blah, I am angry nerd gamer, play with semen crust on my fingers. They even wrote a manifesto. They’re turds.

Valve, who sweats awesomeness flew two of these absolute vaginal discharges out to play the game. Yes, Valve paid for two haters to come check out L4D2, and show them how fucking insipid they are. And are you surprised to learn that these two angry nerds and their manifesto (LOL) quickly gave way to the truth? Even they now realize L4D2 is going to be super-ballin’-time:

Via Destructoid:

“Things seemed balanced and ‘tight’ and did not feel like a rushed job. While we were visiting their offices we personally witnessed what can only be called a small army of artists, coders, mappers hard at work, which explains the rapid transformations in artwork that we’ve all seen,” grovel the turncoat boycotters, known by the impressive handles of Walking_Target and Agent of Chaos.

“What we can say with confidence is that the quality of gameplay in Left 4 Dead 2 is not in question; and it will only get better.”

Most nerds are just neglected buttheads who have so much time on their hands they’ll write manifestos and boycott games out of misplaced angst. That, or write a blog. Or both. They love hating because they hate not being loved. Or something.

If I knew that hating crap would let me play and experience it early, I’d hate a lot more. For the record, POWERS THAT BE WINK WINK, this is a list of things I hate and need to be persuaded about:

Mass Effect 2, Final Fantasy XIII, Bayonetta, Uncharted 2, Avatar, Star Wars Episode XII, the last season of LOST, American currency, and time travel. So please change my mind about these awful, awful things.