An alien-themed brothel has bought a sex robot, friends. Not only that, but it’s pairing it with teledildonics (that’s a real word), so that one may have a remote-experience with the sex robot. Hey, man. The Earth is on fire and Democracy is dead, but we can fart on robots now in order to get off. From across the globe. Progress?

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I saw a UFO a couple of nights ago. It was the damndest thing. I saw a UFO. I saw it. Miniscule, a star in the sky. I saw it. Nothing but an orange spec. I saw a UFO. I saw it spiral through the evening sky. Spinning in improbable circles. I’m telling you. It was the damndest thing. One moment a single orange star in the evening, the next moment a bright slash cutting across the sky. Quickly and with purpose.   Spiraling through unseen loops, an orange blur across a midnight expanse.

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