This ain’t safe for work.  When the first big reveal trailer for this game today was dubbed ‘Step into Insanity’, Ubisoft wasn’t kidding.  This shit occasionally gets wild.  Hit the jump for the gameplay footage from today.  Naw, I don’t know what’s happening in most of this vid either, but it’s gorgeous.

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How gorgeous is this shit?  Just watch the vid.  No word if this is exclusive to the Wii-U yet, but damn if the touch mechanic doesn’t look fun to play with.

Hit the jump for the vid!

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Through a variety of leaky-leaks from Best Buy, Kotaku them thinks they got themselves a look at the main character from Assassin’s Creed III. Holy fucking America, fuck yeah! is all I can say.

Hit the jump to check him out.

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I haven’t played the last two  Assassin’s Creed games. Why? ‘Cause they so enormous and goddamn addictive I’m pretty sure they exist to ruin my life. Still, I’m excited for this game. That I hope I never play.

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BORED AS FUCK WITH YOUR LONGTERM COMMITMENT? DO YOU HAVE FRIENDS WHO WANT YOUR WIFE OR HUSBAND’S HOLES? You’re in lucky, plucky naughty people. Nintendo’s Wii is getting a motherfuckin’ thinly veiled orgy igniter in the form of the game “We Dare.” As they say in the Southwest Airlines commercials, “Grab your boobs and cocks, it’s on!”

Let’s look a bit more in-depth as this Sure To Be Marriage Destroyer.

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Rez is one of my favorite video games of all time. Trippy, hypnotic, filled with surreal visuals, butt-clenching gameplay, and a ridiculous soundtrack. And this week it was announced that its creator, Tetsuya Mizuguchi has created a spiritual sequel to Rez, called Child of Eden. Fuck to the yes.

via kotaku:

Child of Eden, published by Ubisoft and crafted by Q Entertainment, the development home of Mizuguchi, shares much of the trippy synaesthetic stylings of Rez. They share similar sound effects and play styles. Line up shots that will destroy abstract enemies in an abstract environment by positioning a reticule and then letting loose with musical bullets.

Rez was a third-person musical shooter controlled with a Dreamcast, PlayStation 2 or Xbox 360 controller. Child of Eden, named after the artificial intelligence that lived inside a futuristic supernetwork, does away with the dazzling avatar of the original, putting the player in a first person perspective. The game is also optionally controlled with the PlayStation Move motion controller or Kinect for Xbox 360. But we also saw the game played with a regular Xbox 360 controller at E3, a chance to experience the vibrating feedback so instrumental to the original experience.

Fuck yes! Initially I didn’t cover this, because it was wrapped up in a Kinect promo, and let’s be clear – almost anything Kinect related can siphon the methane out of my farts by sticking its intake valve in my ass, but apparently you can rock out with standard controls.

Trippy visuals? Check.

Awesome Music? Check

Boner? Check.

Now let’s hope they let you use the trance vibrator. In Rez, it throbs with the music. It’s called a vibrator. Figure it out.