#September2014
‘Far Cry 4’ Trailer: Cry For Help, Don’t Text
With Destiny eating shit, Watch_Dogs being mediocre, and pretty much every other game I was anticipating this year pushed to 2015, all my gaming hopes and dreams fall on Far Cry 4 this year. The latest trailer features the game’s Zany Bad Guy, and it does nothing to dissuade my excitement.
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Rumor: ‘FAR CRY 4’ will be BROING OUT IN THE HIMALAYAS in 2015
My taint is ready to be slathered in bro goo and deployed back into the world of Far Cry. It’s been too long! Miss the Island. Miss the Blood Dragons. Good news for me then, that apparently the next installment of the mofuckah’ is arriving in early 2015. I can do this. I can make it.
‘ASSASSIN’S CREED: UNITY’ Trailer: Next-Gen Parisian Neck Stabbing
Ubisoft has pulled up their knickers and given the gaming world a taste of their next Assassin’s Creed game. The son of a bitch is next-gen only, and will (at the very least) let you roam the streets of France and get your stabby-stabby, stealthy-stealthy on.
LEAKED: Two ‘ASSASSIN’S CREED’ games dropping this year; ONE SET IN PARIS.
Can a bro grade some papers during Spring Break? Apparently fucking not, what with shit like this breaking. From various leaking anuses across the gaming world comes this newest dribble. There are two Assassin’s Creed games dropping this year, with one taking place in Paris.
Hit the jump for more images & details & shit, oh my!
‘WATCH DOGS’ TRAILER & LAUNCH DATE: HAX THE PLANET W/CYBERPUNK BABES
Another day, another really dope trailer I can only pass along (and not watch) because I’m at work. No audio! Whatever. I’ll drop the impressions in the comments later. Also fucking dope: Watch Dogs finally has a release date. May 27! Boom.
Hit the jump for the trailer.
Troll pretends to be Ubisoft; CANCELS ‘WATCH DOGS’ trademark. Hardcore++
Oh man. This is some next level trolling ish right here. Some dude or dudette pretended to be Ubisoft, and at least temporarily/successfully filed to cancel their trademark for Watch Dogs. Shout out to this person before they’re assuredly ushered off to some communal CorporoGulag on the dark side of the Moon. Your penchant for destruction and anarchy is probably only going to be matched in size by your pain at the hand of robo-hounds and psychic ninjas.
‘WATCH DOGS’ delayed until SPRING 2014. SHITTIN’ ALL OVER MY LAUNCH DAY PLANS
Titty fuck a goose! Goddamn Watch Dogs. Goddamn UbiSoft. The game I was sweating in a sensual coupling with my launch day PS4 has been delayed. What’s next? What’s next!
‘WATCH DOGS’ E3 TRAILER LEAKS EARLY. The NSA is all like YEAH WE GOT THAT.
Watch Dogs is a pretty interesting game to be dropping at E3. You know, because this week the NSA was caught pants-down. “Ohhh yeah, we have sort of been collating all your data. Nice scat porn, Caff-Pow!” And then we all meekily contemplate how we live our digital lives. Anyways, here is the early trailer for Watch Dogs, a game I’ll be buying. Soon. For PS4.
What do you think of it?
Press Start: Exclusive Blanka Colourway
Sometimes, leaving the intro until last is to my benefit. Well, yours too really, as I’m now able to provide you with ample warning. I think I’ve talked about butts quite frequently, and roughly 50% of the whole piece is just completely made up. So, in advance, sorry about all that.
Rumor: Is this a ‘PRINCE OF PERSIA REBOOT’ image? I don’t know man, you tell me.
Remember Prince of Persia? The original, then the rebooted series last generation? Fuck, I’ll even take the cel-shaded nonsense than dropped in 2008. I miss the series’ musk. There’s a screenshot circulating the fat pipes of a purported PoP reboot, and I’m hoping it is legit.
