Man. The Donkey Kong competition has been raging for as long as OL has existed. For much, much longer than the space-ship has been in orbit, in fact. The news regarding the game and whomever reigns supreme often rises and falls in intensity. It’s been quiet for a while until this week, when the record was broken twice in one fucking day.

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And then there were three! Meet Hank Chien! The good sir was previously glossed over back in August, known as the “guy Billy Mitchell beat to reclaim the Donkey Kong score.” Apparently Chien isn’t messing around though, and he’s definitely fucking up my extended metaphors. If Steve Wiebe and Billy Mitchell are the video game world’s Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader, who the fuck is Chien?

Well, it doesn’t matter.

‘Cause the dude has taken the throne from the two of them.

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