I spend roughly 85% of my waking life staring at butts on Tumblr. Actually, that may be a conservative estimate. Anyways, WordPress is buying my favorite platform. And if I could say anything to them? Yeah, fine, don’t bring back the porn. But, leave my booty-watching alone.

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Yahoo is the latest mega-corporation to try and buy their way to coolness. Their acquisition of Tumblr is super-hyper redolent (wrong word) of Facebook buying Instagram. The general populace blase about your existence? Snap up a hot particle and hope that the demographic using it doesn’t notice. I’m not particularly concerned with the occurrence. What I am concerned about is the reaction of all of those Tumblrs out there I follow with great interest. Should they ditch the service in light of the purchase, my Tumblr feed will become yet another parking lot on the info-superhighway. And then where will I go for booty, gaming, more naked pictures, art, comic books, odd fashion I don’t understand, and more ass pictures? Eh?

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Microsoft is no stranger to scrambling to keep up with Google and Apple. It’s like, their forte at this point. New patents have revealed that the Gang that Says “Oh Yeah!” is dipping their toes in the AR goggles arena. In the future you won’t be cool unless you’re scrolling through tumblr starring at furry jizz shots on your glasses’ HUD while at a football game. It has been foreseen.

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