#December2013
‘EDGE OF TOMORROW’ Trailer: Cruise & Blunt’s gorgeous Sci-Fi Groundhog’s Day
Fucking forget Tom Cruise. This stunning science-fiction rendition of Groundhog’s Day (also forget Source Code which is sort of the same idea) features a bad ass Emily Blunt mauling all sorts of foes with a sword and mech equipment and shit. I am so fucking sold.
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‘OBLIVION TRAILER: Tom Cruise, science fiction, and maybe even a plot.
I wasn’t going to check out the trailer for Oblivion, but our own Eddie Not A Planet told me it held gorgeous visuals deep, deep, deep within its guts. So I did! How about that shit? After viewing it, I got a bit of a science fiction chubby for it. I’ll cop to that, and fuck that is without any clue as to what the movie is about. If there was a discernible plot, I may even be tugging nuggets all over my keyboard to the trailer. Picture that!
Paul Thomas Anderson Screens ‘THE MASTER’ For Tom Cruise; Xenu’s Co-Pilot Has Issues With It
Tom Cruise. Totally like second in command in the cult of Scientology. Totally also a friend of Paul Thomas Anderson, whose upcoming flick The Master is a take on the wonky religion. Awkward? Yeah, awkward.
‘TOP GUN 2’ To Come Out Before ‘MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE 5’…Oh Yeah Totally Makes Sense.
How the hot shit across a cold piece of bread does this make any sense. Some Paramount executive-cock fart has informed the world that before M:I5 will come Top Gun 2. Why follow up on the best installment in a franchise when you can recook a homoerotic Cold War propaganda flick?
‘ROCK OF AGES’ TRAILER: So Goddamn Insane It Might Work.
I thought that Tom Cruise in Rock of Ages was going to be a goddamn train wreck. What I didn’t realize was that the movie wasn’t going to take itself seriously. It’s a uh, comedy? I’m not certain. All I know is that while I watching the trailer I felt moderately entertained while trying to figure out how serious this flick’s tone was intended to be.
Tom Cruise CONFIRMED For ‘Top Gun 2’ Homoerotic Jet Ownage
Maverick flies again, motherfucker! Top Gun 2 is going to cruise (ha!) on into existence, and Tommy Xenu will be present.
‘The Town’ Writer Peter Craig Scripting ‘Top Gun 2, I Propose ‘Xenu Prevails!’
Peter Craig, who wrote The Town is going to be breathing life into a script for Top Gun 2. You’re totally stoked. Don’t lie. I can see the excitement in your loins with my heat vision.
Trailer: ‘Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol’. Praise Xenu, ‘Tis Dope.
The latest trailer for Mission: Impossible – Ghostly Priapisms has dropped and its looking excellent. Straight-up Christmas time fun. I’d see the son of a bitch just for the Batman prologue coming out before it, but fuck I’m excited I’m going to enjoy it too.
Hit the jump to check it out.
‘Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol’ Teaser Trailer Drops. It’s Rad, Dude. Rad.
Without a fucking hint of irony: I think the trailer for Zany Tom Cruise’s next Mission Impossible flick is awesome. Great cast. Great director. Sexy, sleak action fun, starring some guy who thinks he’s an alien.
No really, it looks awesome.
Hit the jump to check it out.
DEFEAT. 022 – Wednesday Morning Wisdom
[DEFEAT. is Rendar Frankenstein’s truest attempt at fiction. Presented in weekly episodes, the novella tells the tale of Daryl Millar – a hero who dies at the intersection of pop culture, science-fiction, war epic, and fantasy]
Wednesday morning.
Daryl woke up dizzy and thirsty, but he wasn’t convinced that he could blame it on the Colt 45. No, Daryl remembered that by the time he had come home and gotten into bed he had been sober. Practically. But trying to stand up, he couldn’t shake off his light head and tight chest.
“Why’re my damn lungs on fire?”
And then the recollection. Cigarettes and incense and smoke. He had been totally absorbed. Yes, Daryl now saw images of the mystic who had shown him…well, he knew what she had shown him, but it was too early to start trying to figure out what it meant.
“Hiya there, kiddo!” interjected Gramps, just in time to prevent the dangerous heavy thinking that sometimes follows an evening of heavy drinking. Easing his way through the threshold, Clark moved towards his favorite grandchild. “From the looks of it, I’d guess that someone had a good time last night!” The elder statesman of the Millar tribe slapped his grandson on the shoulder, laughing and remembering his own youthful indiscretions. “I hope she was worth it — and if I know you, I’m sure she was!”
“Nah, Gramps, nothing like that — it was a night out with the boys.” Sitting back down on the edge of his bed, Daryl shot a hand through his hair.
“Oh, I thought I had heard something about you taking out a lady?”
Remembering his plans for the evening, Daryl reassured himself. “Oh yeah! I’m taking Vanessa out tonight!”
Gramps inquired, with a glimmer in his eyes of a man who knows, “And what is it that you’re planning on doing with this Vanessa?”
“Well, I think we’re going to head to the movies.”
“Good idea — nice and dark, you can really make your move in a theater!”
“Gramps!”
