Unlike most of my venomous, emotionally erratic posts about Batman vs Superman, Feat: Zack Snyder vs Good Filmmaking, I’m not going to be hatin’ in this one. Nope! Not at all. I’m just here to show you some pictures of the new Batmobile that have leaked. And if you’d fucking believe it, I actually sort of dig it.

Potential spoilers lay beyond the JUMP, BROS.

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I don’t really know what that headline means. Truthfully, I don’t really know what any of my headlines mean. Can I make it up to you? Offer you some compensation for suffering through my stupidity? I prostate myself before you and offer up this glorious Batgirl cosplay.

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I’m pretty sure Mass Effect 4 doesn’t exist. And the minds who have been charged with developing it are obscuring this fact with intermitten morsels of nothingness. Those Fucking Bastards returned at SDCC today, babbling on about the possibilities of the next installment. While offering pretty much nothing, outside of video of the Mako. Which is the best sign yet that they’re trolling us.

Images and video after the break.

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When Valve first revealed their controller for the Steam Hot Bot Your PC Games Console (and other sundry uses), it was a pretty fucking odd device. Such unconventional. Much out-of-box. But as time has progressed, the controller has become more and more homogenized into standard gaming fare. Case-in-point. The latest iteration of the fucker has gained a thumbstick.

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Yeehaw! It’s my favorite fucking column here on the Space-Ship Omega. Weekend Open Bar! The goddamn proverbial Royal Rumble around these parts. The obnoxious table of twenty at the Tavern. Here at Open Bar, anything goes. It’s the Weekend Long Column where I encourage you all to congregate. Use the comments section to opine about the NBA Draft. To declare your love for omnisexual Martians with Mommy issues. To post gifs of Honey Boo Boo. To share what you’re planning on sticking into your gut this weekend. Be it beer, pizza, or both (ideally). It doesn’t fucking matter, so long as it is in good spirits.

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We gotta get the ventilation system working here on the Space-Ship Omega. Okay. I know that. My phlegm-farts have been stinking up my cabin, floating through the grates, and now your milk steaks taste like ass soup. Apologies. In the meantime, let’s all indulge in some Monday Morning Commute. The one-stop shop for sharing all the easy, breezy, beautiful things you’re looking forward to this week. Just don’t list “my milk steak not tasting like your rectal leakage” as something to be anticipated. Please. I get it. Okay.

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Internet was awash this weekend in rumors that Nathan Fillion had a cameo in Guardians of the Galaxy. And that the cameo would set up his role as Nova down the line. Apparently reality is splitting the difference on this rumor.

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Oh god. Prometheus. Oh lord. Not only does it exist and it happened and I paid for it, but now it’s threatening to infect the Marvel Movie Universe. The writer of the movie’s first draft is now tackling Dr. Strange. Here’s hoping the Blight on the Face of The Alien Franchise happened after the good sir contributed his draft. I’m staring hatefully at you, Damon Lindelof.

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Looks like momentum is picking up on the Hail Caesar! front. The Coen Brothers’ have cast two faces familiar to their enterprises to hold it down in the upcoming flick. And frankly the amount of bonerfiying sexiness between the two of them may break me.

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Raiding tombs fucks you up, yo. Or maybe it’s the thousands of bullets and arrows you use to perforate all the baddies that inevitably inhabit said tombs. Either way.

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