Oh boy. It’s been a good amount of time since I got good and lathered up. My balls are greased with my own fanboy rage, and those testicles are tethered to high-voltage. Let me tell you something. The Walking Dead finale was fucking putrid. If a dog could shit, eat its own shit, puke out that shit, then eat the puke, then finally shit out the puke-shit, that’s what we’re talking here. Let’s ignore the fact that the prior two episodes sucked a lot too, and just focus on the finale. Wow. Woah. Wow-woah. A tin can of shitty shit. No wonder the writers were fucking fired, no matter what sort of spin they put on it.

Before I fucking lose my mind, a few things. First off, I’m still excited for this show. Why, Ian? Here’s fucking why! The first two episodes were fucking brilliant television. Frank Darabont is still running the show, and he just fired the entire fucking writing staff. So there’s potential. We’ve already seen how fucking excellent it can be. But Jesus Fucking On The Cross, have we seen how low it can go as well.

Rubicon gets canceled, and this banal, poorly written shit draws 8.1 million viewers.

Good lord.

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