#July2014
Monday Morning Commute: Robot Love at the End of the Galaxy
Saddle up to your robo-partner and plant a smooch right on their Metallic Dome-Piece. This is Monday Morning Commute and I want both you and your Android to be comfortable enough around me to share the various things you’re looking forward to this week. Be it a comic book, a Gathering of the Juggalos, or the new bang session you’re going to partake in with Shiela-Charles-Mach-IV. You can tell us. We know you’ve been saving up for the ultra-smooth, yet insistingly thorough pelvic-pistons with your Cyborg Bitty.
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‘The Last of Us’ being performed as a play for one night. With the original cast.
Somehow The Last of Us slipped through the gaming cracks for me last year. But I ain’t making that mistake twice, and I’ve already fired off a pre-order to the Devil That Is Amazon for the PS4 remaster. However despite not playing the title, I’m well aware that it is a magical experience. So the idea of a fucking one-night theater production of the extravaganza smacks of awesome to me.
‘LAST OF US’ leads are now heading up ‘UNCHARTED 4.’
The Brains behind Last of Us are now The Brains behind Nathan Drake. Man, finally some fucking good news for the Uncharted franchise. The past couple of months have seen countless people throwing up the Deuces and getting the fuck out of Naughty Dog. So while all of that is certainly concerning, at least we know the people now in charge are fucking legit.
Naughty Dog LEAD CHARACTER ARTIST leaves studio
Is there fucking uranium in the water at Naughty Dog? Is there some sort of Krampus-like villain that patrols the halls, whipping everyone for insubstantial infractions? ‘Cause GODDAMN is everyone bailing out on the studio. The latest in the long line of departures? The lead character artist.
EXPECTED: Sony is making ‘THE LAST OF US’ into a movie.
“Oh God, why do they have to adapt this? Good fucking luck!”, “Oh God, they’re adapting this flick, it would be perfect.” And I’m like in the middle of this shit covered in spittle, eating popcorn in my boxer-briefs, and dipping the kernels in the peanut butter smegma in my navel. Just sort of shrugging.
NO BRAINER: Sony registers URL for ‘THE LAST OF US’ movie.
The Last of Us is a wonderful, gripping, heart-stabbing story. The fact that it is told through the world of a game narrative does nothing to diminish that. In fact, perhaps running around the world in the protagonists’ shoes actually heightens it. That said, the translation to a movie makes complete sense. Sony seems to agree, seeing as the company has registered a URL suggesting an adaptation is coming.
MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE: HOT FLESH, COOL CREAM.
Ohhh, it’s hotter than a mofuckah’ out there. (There being the Eastern Seaboard, Empire Proper.) How are you friends and foes of the site doing today? I hope you’re doing well. This is Monday Morning Commute. Ya’ll know how it goes down around these parts. Unless you’re an innocent passerby. In which case I say: RUN! But if you’re not going to run, I should probably explain it to you. Within these virtual walls, we explain what we’re up to this week. Share the arts, farts, and life activities carrying us through the next 24×7 hours or whatever.
Press Start: WRUP Sell-Out Edition
So, I’ve finally done it. Almost devoid of ideas and convinced that the ones I do have are far too pretentious, I find myself writing a ‘What Are You Playing?’ column. Lynch me now if this sort of thing offends you, or feel free to funnel praise up my willing arsehole if you dig it. I might find myself at the bottom of this particular barrel on more occasions than I’d like.
MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE: IN SPACE NO ONE HEARS YOU CREAM
Hello friends! This is Monday Morning Commute, the column where we share what we’re digging on in a given week. I will be honest – I’m currently treating this like a lightning round edition. The real shit is going to have to take place in the comments section. I’m trying to follow all of E3, while attempting to take a shower, jack one out, and plan a class for next week.
With alacrity!
MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE: LIFE ONE QUARTER MILE AT A TIME.
Welcome to Monday Morning Commute. This is the column where we all slow down enough to talk about what we’re enjoying on a given week. Me? How am I doing? Why, how kind of you to ask! As you may or may not know, I work on a college campus. And this week I’m lucky enough to enjoy the week off between Spring and Summer semesters. I’m going to spend the next seven days trying to figure out what that fuck I’m going to be teaching in a month, watching The Most Ill of all Bro Movies, and throwing a party at my new apartment. It’ll be a good week.
