NBCUniversal is giving the middle-finger to theatrical release windows, at least for now. The studio is going to release new movies on-demand immediately, at least for the forseeable future. As well, already released movies such as Invisible Man and Emma will be made available this Friday. I suppose something like this was inevitable, as COVID-19 forces theaters to close and studios to delay movies.

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Golly gee come down to the Space-Ship OMEGA! We’re having an Eschaton of fun here within the walls of the faithful tin can in digital orbit! But, friends, I must confess something. I think there’s a general paucity in the zeitgeist when it comes to really comprehending the situation on this globe, which is currently somewhere between a shit-covered molotov to the face of Western culture, and a dumpster filled with spiked light bulbs dropped on our cumulative balls.

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Self-immolation is a hell of a drug, friends! Ask the DNC, as they continue to tear the walls down on themselves to prevent the Bern. Shit, ask me! On those dark nights where it feels like 8,000 calories of M&Ms makes way more sense than trying to fight my way out of my malaise! But, it’s fucking futile! We’re going to get another Trump presidency, and I could end up in a waistband three-sizes bigger than currently constituted. But if I’m being honest? The former seems way more plausible than the later, as I sip my deeply unfulfilling weekday smoothie that serves as both breakfast and lunch.

None the less, what’s the key to staving off self-immolation?

What are the secret ingredients of the Anti-Apocalypse serum?

I’m happy to tell you!

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