Shit is going onto the internet, yo. All of the television materials will be for you to download through the bandwidth pipes. That is, if you believe the CEO of Netflix. Me? I kind of, I kind of do.

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OHHH, get your fucking POPCORN. There’s a pretty awesome MEGA-COMPANY slap fight going on right now. Earlier this week (I didn’t cover it I’m fucking sorry!) it was revealed that Netflix had trotted out a pretty awesome function. When Verizon was providing really fucking shitty streaming quality, The Flix would tell you. Like — don’t blame us, blame Verizon. Now a BUTT HURT VERIZON has filed a cease and desist.

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Facebook. Conquering virtual reality. Conquering the Internet with drones. Pretty much just conquering. Your titty pics, and bro-abs are soon going to be soaring through the air courtesy of lasers. Drones. Making them almost seem not completely self-absorbed, banality-core. Right? They’ll just be owned, stapled to the guts of the Monolithic Facebook Intertwebs. (This story is actually about something different. A little. But indulge me.)

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Paul Miller is a tech journalist for The Verge who is committing an act beyond comprehension: he is intending to quit the Internet for a year or “maybe forever” – lol, yeah okay on the latter. There’s a pretty neat video capturing the build up to his decision, and more than anything I wish I could be paid to make ridiculous decisions like this.

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All you need to know about the Pirate Bay being blocked in the UK can be learned from watching the first “Pirates of the Carribean” movie where a plucky band of pirating assholes lead by Johnny Depp take on the British-People-Guys and their colonizing brigades.

I can’t be wrong about this, can I?

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