It is Thanksgiving this week in the heart of the Empire. Say what you will about the manipulative mythos that has conjured such a holiday. Say it to the wind. Say it to people outside of the local Walmart. But know this. I think it is wonderful to celebrate a day where family, and gratitude are paramount, regardless of your ideological inclination. And so a wild anarchist like yours truly  can still find himself sitting down this Thursday to cop to the warm, fuzzy embrace of familial gluttony and momentary harmony. I’m goddamn glad to be here. And for everything I have.

So while it isn’t a typical work cycle, still I offer up Monday Morning Commute. The column where we share what we’re looking forward to during a given week. This iteration filled with 100% more mashed potatoes than usual.

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It appears that Regal Cinemas just decided to fuck up my fanboy morning with anxiety. I was like, nine fucking theaters? One fucking chain? I was already planning fucking road trips and shit. But naw, they just dropped the news early. Multiple movie chains shall be carrying The Force Awakens’ first trailer. Thank fuck.

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Confirmed! The Force Awakens is getting itself a fucking trailer this fucking week in fucking theaters. Rendar and I might live through the entire trailer. Or our hearts may give out. Our dicks break. Our juices exhaust themselves. Either way. A valiant death or a wonderful life. This news piggy backs on the rumor I covered yesterday — that the sumbitch is dropping next week in 100 theaters, running before every showing of every flick.

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Man. Yesterday Slashfilm reported that The Force Awakens wouldn’t get a trailer before The Hobbit: Battle of Blah Armies. The report said that Disney was thinking “much bigger” than that. But if this rumor is true? Holy shit. Apparently next weekend the film is going to show before every single showing of every single movie in 100 theaters.

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Here’s some fucking Star Wars: The Force Awakens non-news. John Williams has officially recorded music for Episode VII‘s teaser trailer. Doesn’t do anything for you? It’s like those chaps Fall Out Guys said in that one song: I don’t care if you don’t care ’cause Pete Wendy’s dick.  And if you didn’t think this excites me, I have the crapped-pants and the remnants of the wall I ran through to prove it.

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