It’s Monday. My wife is away. I’m covered in calzone grease, and snot from the jalapenos in said calzone that have my nose running. I’m tired. The dog won’t stop barking. I’m tired. But Spring Break is soon! My wife will be home eventually. This too will pass. This life too will pass. This universe too will pass. What can you do? Eh. And I mean. Plus! plus, I got these various things that I’m enjoying/looking forward to/thinking about/et cetera.

This is Monday Morning Commute.

What are you up to this week?

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I’m getting real shit at publishing a weekend column at the start of the weekend. Man! Fuck! But yesterday was busy, hopscotching from work, to dinner with a mentor, to an entire bag of Sour Patch Watermelons, to staring at the IdiotBox for three or so hours. I’m here now, though, and I’m hoping I can lure you in as well! This is Weekend Open Bar, the weekly column where we all hang out.

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OKAY FOLKS. Listen up. Between the alimony hearings, the drug use, the fact that Feedly went down for two fucking days, and my favorite butt plug melting in my dishwasher (which required an immediate journey to the upper mountains of the Appalachians to replace), there’s some E3 STUFF I DIDN’T GET TO. However, I also posted a fucking fuckload. Here in one batch is everything I’ve caught from E3. Posted, and previously unposted. Sorted by console. Don’t see your fave announcement/game? Hit the comments. I’ll add it. I know I’m missing a lot. Also! Use this space just to shoot the E3 shit. Read the rest of this entry »

Listen, Bethesda. I want to be fucking faithful. I pledged my post-apocalyptic prostate to Fallout and you. You alone! But you’re dragging my ass through the dirt. Do you even care anymore? You don’t call, you won’t write back after I send you those letters filled with my kisses and pubes. And now, now The Division has come along. Can you, can you blame a guy?

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