I’m not playing around with silly accents, half-assed attempts at comedy and protracted self-deprecation this week. Hell no: I’m injecting this fact-stream straight into your cerebral cortex, just like you were Motoko Kusanagi. We’re all in the machine now and you need a games news hyperderm. I’m gonna give it to ya.

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You know how some people are still waiting for hoverboards? Well, in the same way I’m still waiting for Motoko Kusanagi-style cyborg shells. Not that I want to be a 400 pound metallic hottie, more that I just want a set of unstoppable bionic eyes that don’t crap out on me between my relentless cycle of monitors. Playing video games is tough. It burns. Join me…..

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