#May2013
‘MAN OF STEEL’ TV SPOT: Prepare to UNLEASH KAL-HELL.
Get it? Kal-Hell? This new TV spot for The Movie of the Summer (you heard it here first) features a rather perturbed lookin’ Superman ready to lay down some whuppings.
Sign me up.
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Rumor: DAVID S. GOYER writing and directing ‘JUSTICE LEAGUE’ flick. Or just writing.
David S. Goyer’s stock appears to be on the upswing. Homeboy contributed to the Dark Knight Trilogy, wrote Man of Steel, and now could be dipping his fingers into the intestines of the Justice League script.
‘MAN OF STEEL DEETS and COVER upside your head courtesy of Entertainment Weekly.
Here’s a fabulous new cover featuring Kal-Cavil in his Supergarb, as well as some new Man of Steel details. Be forewarned that there are spoilers are afoot. Also, God help you if you didn’t know that already.
Judge confirms SUPERMAN belongs to DC. Alas.
Don’t let the headline fool you, the battle for Superman’s soul isn’t over. Okay, soul is a bit erroneous. And over-dramatic. The fight for Superman’s wondrous money-making capabilities isn’t over. That doesn’t mean there haven’t been ebbs and flows to the case. The latest has the tide turning in DC’s favor. What does this all mean?! I have no fucking idea.
Total Film’s new ‘MAN OF STEEL’ IMAGE got SUPERMAN AND LOIS LANE striking a pose.
[Update: now with way better qualities and shite.]
Want yourself a glimpse at Lois Lane, outside of that one-off that dropped of her in black and white last month or so? Total Film got you covered.
New ‘MAN OF STEEL’ images feature Supes’ latex dong cradle, and more!
From now on, that is what I’m calling the region of every superhero’s outfit that gently holds their package. Their dong cradle. ‘Cause as you’ll see, Supes’ outfit is gingerly cradling his super-children. Just waiting to doff the outfit, and unfurl the silent terror. I’m not sure what I’m talking about anymore. I just like using the phrase “dong cradle.” Try it.
NIC CAGE in Tim Burton’s SUPERMAN SUIT. ‘Cause you deserve nightmares.
Hey friends. You have probably thought you have seen the last of the nightmare that was Tim Burton’s Superman. Double wrong. Bask in the radioactive glory that is Nicky Cage in the Super-suit.
‘JUSTICE LEAGUE’ MOVIE will have five core characters, no dance scenes. WTF.
Okay, okay. They never said there were going to be any dance scenes in the Justice League movie. Instead, it has been a silent hope of mine. What better way to solidify the tension between Wayne and Clark, than by them finally slinging dongs on the dance floor while talking out their differences? It’s a minor loss for the film, but a loss none the less.
Court ruling finds ‘SUPERMAN’ back in Warner Bros. and DC Comics’ greasy paws.
Fuck Warner Bros! As of right now, I am publicly rescinding the pitch I sent to them. You know, the pitch about the bi-polar kid so hopped up on caffeine he literally pierces time and space with one frothy piss. Once he clambers into the other dimension, he finds a pet unicorn who he falls in love with. After a prolonged courting process, they make love. The kid dies almost immediately. I rescind all of this, because Warner Bros. will just make like a zillion bucks off it and I’ll get nothing. Nothing!
‘MAN OF STEEL’ poster has Superman as like, misunderstood villain.
Oh noes! Superman is considered a villain! Sworn to protect a peoples who doesn’t understand him. They wonder why he flies around in kinky purple latex, and doesn’t like. You know. Just fix all the Earth’s problems in one day and then go about enjoying the rest of his life.
