The above is Lindsay Lohan back when she was something resembling a human being. This human being no longer exists. The good news is that apparently she’s up for a role as alien villainess Ursa in the Superman Reboot. Oh, Frat Boy Rock, you’re a bananas. Bananas like zounds.

Slashfilm:

Gossip website TMZ is reporting that  Lindsay Lohan is up for a major female role in  Zack Snyder‘s  Superman reboot. According to the site, “Lindsay’s people have had multiple phone conversations within the last few weeks with the people behind the new  Superman reboot” and they’re “supposed to meet personally with the  Supermanpeople soon.” The role isn’t Lois Lane, however, more than likely it’s Ursa, a Kryptonian baddie that  we now know is currently being cast.

Insanity, right? I ignored this bullshit when it was posted on a couple of other sites this morning. But by the time it made Slashfilm? I figured it was worth mentioning. Sure, nothing’s worth much in the Churn Factory that is the Netterwebs, but the mind boggles at the possibility.

The problem with this news is that Lindsay Lohan is about to be charged with grand theft larceny. I would say that considerably lowers her chances of being cast. However, just the fact that she was ever considered for a role is fucking outstanding.

Zounds were abound this week when it was let out that the casting currently going on this week for a female lead in Superman wasn’t for Lois Lane. The initial speculation was that Snyder may have been kicking the script over to Lana Lang, the other alliterative female in Clark’s life. Not to be! Not to be at all. Snyder is currently casting for the role of Ursa, who is General Zod’s b-girl. According to reports, Alice Eve, Diane Kruger and Rosamund Pike are all in the running for the part.

Don’t know who Ursa is?

Slashfilm Cares:

[Ursa] first appeared in the Richard Donner’s  Superman and  Superman II as one of a trio of Kryptonians, lead by General Zod, who are sentenced to live in the Phantom Zone by Superman’s father Jor-El, before breaking out and ending up battling Superman on Earth. Ursa’s most noteworthy quality in the films is her hatred of men and that she collects badges/symbols of her kills. She didn’t appear in the comic books until only a few years ago.

Well, there you go. This news makes everything a bit interesting though, considering that Snyder said that Zod wasn’t going to be in the flick. Is Ursa running ahead, preparing the pathetic fleshsacs for Zod’s arrival? Or is the dude actually in the movie? Only Frat Boy Rock (Snyder) knows for sure. Oh, and I suppose those who have read the script.

I’m going to let you guys in on a little secret. I text, eat, write, and occasionally fantasize while driving. So when I read this news while driving and eating a crumb cake, I almost veered off the road more than usual. Every nerd with half a hard-on for comic book movies worships at the altar of Christopher Nolan.   He gave us Batman Begins, The Dark Knight, and kicks unfathomable amounts of ass. This news has me running around in a frothy geek insanity:

Via Deadline Hollywood:

Warner Bros is trying to ready  its DC Comics stalwart Superman to soar again on the Big Screen, and the studio has turned to Chris Nolan to mentor development of the movie. Our insiders say that the  brains behind rebooted Batman has been asked to play a “godfather” role and ensure The Man Of Steel gets off the ground after a 3 1/2-year hiatus.

…

Let us emphasize that Superman 3.0 is in the early stages of development. And we doubt Nolan would direct.  This wouldn’t be a sequel to Superman Returns but a completely fresh franchise.

It doesn’t even matter to me that he probably won’t direct it. If you were like me and hated the last Superman movie, Superlifter: Guy Who Lifts Shit While Kevin Spacey Acts Like An Asshole, you know how much I dreaded seeing Bryan Singer take another crack at the franchise. Just the name alone inspires faith and revelry in me, and it has to be better than a movie where Superman is an emo absentee Dad who gets shanked by Lester Burnham.