#April2014
FOX & SONY: ANNOUNCE ALL THE COMIC BOOK F**KING SPIN-OFF MOVIES
Yeah so these two posts came up today. But I didn’t get to them! And lord fucking knows they ain’t getting their own individual posts. They’re getting post-based bunk beds! They can talk to one another. Awkwardly masturbate for the first time while splitting a room. Tell each other their hopes and dreams as they slip off into slumber. I don’t even know what the fuck I’m saying. Anyways.
The X-Men and Spider-Man companies announced a shit load of spin-off movies.
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‘EPISODE VII’ News: UK Stage Actress Up For Role
Here’s some gnarly news. The promise that Episode VII will see some new faces in key roles hasn’t been confirmed or denied because…well, no fucking casting has been announced! But! Recent rumor-news-nebulous-things suggest this promise shall hold.
Toby Kebbell is DOCTOR DOOM in the ‘FANTASTIC FOUR’ reboot
You know, for once, I’m stymied. I don’t have anything to say. Toby Kebbell is Doctor Doom in the new Fantastic Four, and I don’t have anything to add. Don’t know the guy. Don’t have a problem with his face. (And yes owing to mental illness sometimes people’s faces just fucking annoy me.) So there’s that! Welcome, Toby.
Harry Potter spin-off ‘FANTASTIC BEASTS’ will be a movie trilogy
More news on that Harry Potter spin-off, Fantastic Beasts. Apparently it ain’t just going to be one movie. ‘Cause who the fuck does one movie anymore?! Losers. That’s who. It’s all about the trilogy. Truthfully, the odd, pseudo-meta premise of the book (inside a book? I think?) has me intrigued. So while I’m not particularly sure what the fuck it is all about, I’m willing to preemptively dig on it.
Warner Bros. ALL FIXIN’ to announce NEW SERIES of DC-BASED flicks soon.
This makes sense, right? I mean, Warner Bros. has to like eventually announce their first full slate of movies. Good knows when though, since “soon”, could mean from next week all the way through SDCC.
Oculus adds former VALVE VR ENGINEER to staff. Poaching get?
I’m just imbuing this story with all sorts of things that aren’t true. Probably. Probably made-up. Like this dude who has left Valve for Oculus was totally poached from The Gabe Company. Top secret dinners. Libations and young sacrifices promised. He signed with Oculus in blood, as John Carmack stood in the corner jerking off over an original printing of Atlas Shrugged. That’s what I envision. ‘Cause if I don’t, it’s just moar “blah blah VR is wonderful, blah blah” rhetoric.
‘GOTHAM’ (dat BATMAN prequel) logo and plot synopsis revealed. Aiight.
Fox has pulled down its pants and swung around its plot synopsis for Gotham, the Batman-Not-Batman Prequel that they shall be airing. TL;DR edition? Shit kicks off with Jimmy and Friend trying to solve the murder of Brucey’s parents. For the unabridged version, as well as the full logo, hit the jump.
‘GAME OF THRONES’ is getting a RAP ALBUM. Brace yourself, 16-bars are coming.
Game of Thrones is getting a rap album. Like, an official rap album. With tracks by talent you’ve come to know. Fucking Big Boi, Wale and shit. The world is odd.
Space Swoon: Tarantula Nebula is hyperactive spider in our galactic hood
Hey kids! Do you want to learn about the Tarantula Nebula? Why, it’s enormous as fuck, active as fuck, and generally has been known to swagger through the cosmos with a bravado described as “The Rock meets Gandhi meets the Grim Reaper.” Hey, don’t ask me. I didn’t come up with it.
‘GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY’ Full Trailer: Middle Finger from the Space A-Holes
Whelp. Here it is. First trailer for Guardians of the Galaxy. A marauding raccoon. Jacked dudes. Patented Chris Pratt humor. Spaceships. That giant-ass tree-thing. Zoe as a smoldering green babe. I’m fucking sold.
