From the streets of Paris comes this ridiculously awesome street art.

Jesus titty-fucking Christ, I’m getting old. Street Fighter is turning 25 this year. It feels like just yesterday I was earning my  callouses  in some  ludicrous  Hadouken-Throwing Battles.

Hit the jump for Capcom’s celebratory logo artwork.

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Hello Earthlings of certain proclivities! Salutations. This is Press Start!, the column where I break down the week in gaming. I drudge together five happenings that caught my eye in the Video Gameverse. The list doesn’t reflect importance, or anything other than my personal preference. Hit the goddamn fucking comments box with your own input.

Buckle up, take your accelerant of choice, and let’s party.

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#1: Characters From Street Fighter Break Into WWE, Paralyze People.
The characters from Street Fighter don’t give a shit. They routinely smash the living shit out of cars just ’cause. In the middle of a god damn tournament, they’ll thrash your whip with snap kicks and shit. So why wouldn’t they cross franchise boundaries and whip the ass of unsuspecting dudes in spandex?

There’s no good reason why they wouldn’t. And now they are.

Some good chap used the character creation tool thingy in Smackdown vs. Raw 2011 to create twenty or so Street Fighter characters. Which, if I’m not mistaken people can download onto their PlayStation Boxes. This is fucking fantastic. If I bought the game I’d be all over this shit.

Superheroes in a wrestling game? If John Cena doesn’t deserve a spinning lariat from Zangief, who the fuck does? As I’ve blathered on about, the Street Fighter characters are a righteous addition because they call back to the golden days of wrestling. Back when the characters weren’t just assholes in denim shorts. They were assholes fighting for Communism, or capable of voodoo, or undead dudes who dropped tombstones and carried around creepy ass urns.

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#2: GameStop Has 3.6 Billion Dollar Holiday, But This Is Failure.
Fascist pig video game whoring multiplex GameStop made 3.6 billion dollars over the holiday season. What was the general reaction to these numbers? The joint’ stock fell by 6 perfect. This is despite the store’s profits rising by a poetically fitting 6 percent. Buh?

Listen, I’m not a economist. The only numbers I can crunch are those of my bank account. And as a graduate student making a shit stipend, the numbers are dismal. After the holiday season, you can hear echoes off the chambers of my savings account. So I’d take 3.6 billion dollars. Fuck, I’d take $5,000.

So what lead to the stock falling? The lack of growth. Despite the sales numbers, stockholders (is that what they’re called?) weren’t happy with the percent of growth. I see, I see. Other contributing factors may be the lack of suitable increase in GameStop’s used gaming market, which only grew 1.7 percent, or people who bought in for the holiday season but are not throwing up deuces and leaving.

Disagree with these reasons? I didn’t think them up, I’m just reporting.

Don’t shoot me.

But a 3.6 billion dollar disappointment? Amazing.

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#3: Super Mario At The Ice Capades Will Prolapse You.
I miss the 1980’s. Nothing made sense, and because of that, anything made sense. Take for example this segment from the 1988 Ice Capades. Hosted by Jason Bateman and a hot ass (I hope she’s legal here) Alyssa Milano, it features Super Mario and friends skating around in what can only be described as delirious awesomeness.

Bateman and Milano are rocking out playing some Super Mario backstage when – gasp! – the unthinkable happens. The original Nintendo catches a virus and allows the characters to escape the confines of their shitty grey cartridge.  Trust me, this is amazing.

Also, let it be a lesson to you. Video games are dangerous. Everything your parents hear on the Boob Tube is correct: these games can fucking kill you. One minute you’re boppin’ shit for coins, the next minute Bowser is unleashed on the tangible realm. Looking for some ass to crush. Ask Princess, that shit hurts. Hurts done bad.

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Check it out! Most righteous. A good twenty Street Fighter characters have been recreated in Smackdown vs. Raw 2011. I know that Street Fighter is a fighting game, but seeing some sick ass turnbuckle action featuring Zangief, T. Hawk and others is fucking awesome.

It also reminds me of a better time back in the day, when life was good, all wrestlers were over the top assholes with schticks. Superpowers! Communist bastards! Shamen! They were all included. But with the rise of MMA, the wrestling powers that be have decided that they needed to make shit more “realistic”. And wrestling now? It sort of blows. It’s all the homoerotic overtones, with none of the sweet personalities and absurd personas. Just dudes in spandex undies hugging one another. Without the money shots! I call shenanigans.

Hit the jump for the video.

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When the Zombie Apocalypse hits, Akuma is going to Shoryuken your fucking brains out. Then eat them.

[ source/more pictures : all games beta ]