[images & words is the comic book pick-of-the-week at OL. equal parts review and diatribe, the post highlights the most memorable/infuriating/entertaining book released that wednesday]

Spoilers Ahead. Forreal.

This week’s top comic came down to two serious contenders. One of them was more of a fantasy-based, all-ages type deal. The second was the comics equivalent of a hard PG-13, a book with superheroes who aren’t afraid to fuck shit up. And while both were worthy adversaries, one got the definite edge after displaying supreme excellence in the squared circle. So if you can afford two comics this week, make sure you pick up Joe the Barbarian #4.

But if you’ve only got enough pennies for one cartoon-book, make your choice Ultimate Avengers #6.

Millar and Pacheco bring the first arc of Ultimate Avengers to an ending that is equal parts shocking and appropriate. Taking place in the Ultimate Universe of Marvel Comics, Captain America has spent the first five issues evading capture at the hands of his friends. Why’re the Avengers hunting down Steve Rogers? Well, he just found out that the Red Skull is his son and they’re worried that he’s going to go loco. With good reason.

Of course, this issue sees Captain America and the Red Skull finally going toe-to-toe. But before this battle can occur, the requisite Pre-Final-Confrontation Confrontation has to go down. And it does. We get to see the Red Skull, wielding the fucking Cosmic Cube, dispatch each member of the Avengers. It’s an epic buildup, a suitable appetizer to the main course for which we’ve all been starving!

That isn’t to say that there aren’t some great moments in this melee as well. One highlight is seeing the cowardly Nerd Hulk finally being worked up into throwing down. Sick of the Red Skull’s hurtful words, this Banner-clone lunges into the conflict and screams,

STOP TALKING TO ME LIKE THAT! STOP PUTTING ME DOWN!

It’s a great moment.

As you can guess, this only leads to the final battle. I won’t spoil too much, but you can rest assured that Steve Rogers wins. And since this is a Mark Millar book, he wins in quite a crafty and violent manner. Ok, here’s a hint: It involves impalement. Alright, one more hint: It involves a fighter jet. In other words, mission accomplished.

But what I really love about this issue of Ultimate Avengers is that it cleans up enough of the first storyline while leaving more than enough breathing room for the next. After delivering a sincere declaration that all he ever wanted was a happy ending, Red Skull is laid to rest by Red Wasp via bullet to the head. Nick Fury and Gregory Stark have a heart-to-heart in which it is revealed that Red Skull may have been purposely lured out of retirement. The reason? To justify the necessity of a Black Ops squad led by Fury. And lastly, we’ve still got all of the members of the Avengers alive and accounted for (clearly Jeph Loeb didn’t write this shit).

Ultimate Avengers #6 is a joyride of a comic book. If you haven’t read any of the previous issues, I’d say either hunt them down or wait for the trade paperback. But you’re going to want to hop on board for Ultimate Avengers 2, which starts at the end of this month. In addition to being penciled by the lovely Leinil Yu, the first cover features Frank Castle. The goddamn Punisher!

Ahh, I love comics so damn much!

Whedonnites, prepare! to! fap!

via slashfilm:

Variety, in a confirmation of Whedon’s hiring two days ago, says that he’ll rewrite The Avengers. He’s got plenty of experience writing superhero teams and for ensemble casts, so that, again, was pretty much a foregone conclusion. But as The First Avenger: Captain America, set to shoot soon, is basically a lead-in to the big team movie, should Whedon do some work on that script, too?Pajiba says that’s exactly what he’s going to do. The site has “a source close to the project,” who says that Whedon is likely to be assigned a rewrite on Cap. That’s all the site really has, but given that the word I’ve heard about the Captain America script hasn’t been terribly positive, it’s certainly a rumor I’d like to believe.

I’m totally fucking stoked that Joss Whedon is rewriting The Avengers and Captain America. For starters, the first draft of The Avengers was by Zak Penn. He wrote X3. I rest my case. When I heard he was the guy behind The Avengers, a single tear fell from my eyes, and I said, “Well, it could be worse, they could cast Johnny Storm as Captain America.”

I’m kidding. I’m really almost sort of over that.

And despite the fact that Whedon rewriting the movies means that they’re going to be filled with existential angst, vampires, and atheism, I’m okay with it.

[images & words is the comic book pick-of-the-week at OL. equal parts review and diatribe, the post highlights the most memorable/infuriating/entertaining book released that wednesday]

The theme for this week’s Images & Words is blood and thunder. This is the phrase that I couldn’t stop thinking of as I read the second issue of Siege, the limited series that sees Norman Osborn and his cronies trying to trash Thor’s crib. Built upon the premise of gods and superheroes duking it out, the expectation is that Siege would be an action-packed fanboy wet dream.

So far, the expectations are being met. And then some.

Picking up where the first issue left off, Siege #2 takes the reader right into the middle of the battle for Asgard. As was to be expected, Ares (yes, the god of bloodlust exists in the Marvel Universe) realizes that Norman Osborn’s been playing him for a damn fool! Jumping ship, Ares has himself a slugfest with the Sentry.  And it’s this slugfest  that ends up stealing the show.

I don’t want to spoil anything, but I will say this – the fight ends with a fatality. Actually, it’s a two-page dismemberment, with entrails and blood and bodily fluids flying all over the damn place.

Yeah, it really is the artistic team of Coipel/Morales/Martin (pencils/inks/colors) that makes this comic especially worthwhile. Bendis’ scripting isn’t bad (in fact, it’s quite good) but the stunning visuals are what elevate the book. In addition to the aforementioned gorefest, even the more mundane sequences are sexy. Coipel’s pencils give Captain America a youthful sensibility which really shines through during his conversation with Steve Rogers.

Hell, the team even manages to make a snoozer of a meeting (between…well, some of Earth’s mightiest heroes) worthy being framed and hung poster-style.

I’m not going to waste time with one of my exhausting complaints about comics-events – but only because Siege is genuinely enjoyable. I think the series is pushing the Marvel universe in an interesting direction, and is doing so with guns and gods and explosions and all that other good shit. I’m sold.

[images & words is the comic book pick-of-the-week at OL. equal parts review and diatribe, the post highlights the most memorable/infuriating/entertaining book released that wednesday]  

Not to call my brother out, but on Tuesday he lied to the faithful OL readers. In the last Variant Covers, Caffeine Powered wrote that this week’s Captain America would see both Steve Rogers and Bucky rocking out in the Star-Spangled undies. Trusting his words, I got all sorts of excited and screamed “TWO CAP’N AMERIKURS!? GAW-LEE!~” into the face of my elderly roommate.

But then I actually read Captain America #602 — and I realized that my a brother is fucking liar! Steve Rogers isn’t anywhere in this dang book!

To be fair, I don’t think Caffeine Powered intentionally misled anyone. Given the current state of the 616, the natural conclusion would be to expect two Captain Americas. After all, Marvel has been pretty lax since bringing back Stevie; yet to be revived in Reborn, he’s been seen chilling with Bucky in Who Will Wield the Shield?, Siege and The Invincible Iron Man. Tack on the fact that the cover of this newest issue features a Captain America rocking the classic/dungarees/belt uniform, and one would be inclined to think that a team-up rests within.

Again, not the case. In fact, Steve Rogers is nowhere to be found in this issue. Brubaker writes him out of the plot by having Bucky explain the absence to Nick Fury;

“Steve’s fine…him and Sharon are just off the grid right now…Staying at her family estate in Virginia.”

What a load of caca. I really hope that all this is doublespeak for some sick-ass secret mission, because if Steve Rogers is actually just hanging out in Virginia, we’re going to have words. Maybe even swear words.

“Don’t get me wrong, Stevie, taking a vacation with a lady-friend is a great way to relax. But since you got shot with that time/bullet/same thing as Batman?/consciousness-transplant bullet, shit’s fallen to pieces. So get your ass out of Jamestown and start cracking skulls!”

Anyways, what is this issue about? Well, even with Rogers out of the picture, the reader is treated to two Captain Americas; Bucky (of course) and William Burnside, the fucked-up, mental patient who was rendered into a Steve Rogers facsimile in the 1950’s. Burnside has put on his own pair of Star-Spangled undies and is soiling the image of the shield slinger as he corrals hillbillies into forming an anti-government militia. Naturally, this inspires Bucky and Falcon to go regulate.

Considering how much shit is going on in the Marvel universe, it might be for the best to leave Steve Rogers out of the title book for now. Truthfully, I’m more than pleased with having Bucky wield the shield and don’t want to see him give it up anytime soon. I know it’s only a matter of time, what with the trailer for the Captain America movie having been officially released, so I’m cool with enjoying James Buchanan while I can.

Bucky’s tenure as the sentinel of liberty is bound to end sooner rather than later. So if this depresses you (as it should), make sure to snag Captain America #602.