#March2016
Stephen King’s ‘The Mist’ is heading to Spike TV
Oh yeah! Spike TV is a thing! It used to be the channel that I would watch UFC’s Ultimate Fighter on, back when I wanted to watch dudes punch one another (I still do) and listen to them bark empty platitudes about going to war and their family needing their victory (I do not) for an hour. Well, I imagine a lot of people feel like me — completely apathetic when it comes to the station. And perhaps, just perhaps, this is an effort of theirs to change that feeling.
Report: Idris Elba frontrunner for ‘The Dark Tower’ lead
Holy crap. How do you get me to give a futz about an adaptation of The Dark Tower? Cast Idris Elba.
‘System Shock’ remake is coming
A System Shock remake is coming, if the CEO of Night Dive is to be believed.
Cary Fukunaga leaves adaptation of Stephen King’s ‘It’ over budget cuts
Bummer. After True Detective, I’m looking forward to anything Cary Fukunaga is working on. And it ain’t like he doesn’t have a huge slate of upcoming projects, but the idea of seeing him adaptation a classic was intriguing as fuck.
James “Yes, I’m That Pleased With Myself” Franco starring in Abrams-produced Stephen King adaptation, ’11/22/63′
Yeah. I wanted to take a shot at James Franco that bad. To the point of an utterly enormous headline. I don’t give a fuck! If Jimmy Franco can be so self-satisfied while miring himself in a rut of eye-rolling indie choices and dick-and-fart joke flicks with Rogen, I can be self-satisfied in my own below-mediocre blogging. Fuck you! Oh. And this post is about Stephen King, Jar Jar Abrams, Jimmy Franco, and JFK.
Matthew McConaughey wanted for ‘The Stand’ adaptation
Matthew McCottonCandy is wanted for a long-ass film adaptation of the The Stand, playing the bad guy. I don’t know anything about the movie, other than People Seem To Like It, and I Should Probably Read It. So I don’t really know what to make of this casting news.
OMEGA-CAST #9: MAXIMUM OMEGA-DRIVE
New podcast up in your fucking gutsss. With a special fucking guest: Pepsibones Krueger! *Phazer sound, Phazer sound, Phazer sound* Back from his stint in the OMNIVERSE. With The Bones in Tow, the Gang Omega relocated to my compartment of the Space-Ship for this edition, and what occurred is truly the tale of two podcasts. Off the bat we vomit chunks of broken-brain about True Detective, artistic integrity, Her, how much Bateman loves to feel inspired, Ms. Marvel #1 and other bullshit. Then the booze kicks in, and what follows is generally just Pepsibones and me babbling drunkenly about Avengers, Star Wars, and Jeremy Renner’s amazing vascularity. So it’s pretty fucking awesome.
Monday Morning Commute: Don’t Forget to Mind-Wipe!
Fred was certain that everything’d gone according to plan.
Sure, it was only the third time he’d been called upon to complete the procedure. But why should he worry? It was the first thing they’d taught him at the Neural Corps Academy, a matter of routine that even those struggling with the coursework could exact if necessary. And he wasn’t no goddamn wash-out, he was quick to remind himself while taking a deep whiff of the checkered material.
He was Fred DeCoup. First, a child prodigy. Then, the star student-cum-valedictorian. And at twenty-two, the youngest cadet awarded the position of Reprogrammer General .
Needless to say, Fred was more than a bit startled when the subject woke up screaming. Typically, subjects’ reentries into consciousness are marked by outward expressions of tranquility, sometimes even gratitude. But when XT-203 came to, he was writhing with hatred and spitting vitriol.
“You piece of shit! You raped me! I remember everything! Release these clamps so I can tear out your throat!”
Fred DeCoup dropped XT-203’s boxer shorts from under his nose. He froze. He knew that everything hadn’t gone according to plan, that he’d made an error of the most egregious sort.
In his perverted ecstasy, Fred had forgotten the most important rule: always run a mind-wipe.
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Welcome to the Monday Morning Commute! This is the weekly call-to-arms for all aboard Spaceship OL — crew and passengers alike — to discuss the various ways we’ll combat the Boredom Bastards! Rumor has that a few of these fun-suckers’ve been spotted in the very sector we’re headed towards this week, so we need to make sure that everyone’s armed and ready to face `em!
Murder your familial responsibility with movies. Crush your manager’s halitosis with comics. Piledrive your self-doubt with pizza.
I’ll get us started, but you hafta join me in the comments section.
Let’s do this!
Monday Morning Commute: Kick Grandpa’s Head Off!
“Oh snap! He just kicked off Grandpa’s fuckin’ head! Didja see that shit! Grandpa ain’t got no fuckin’ head anymore!”
Yeah, I guess you can say it was an eventful Fourth of July weekend at Casa de Los Brothers Omega.
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But today is Monday, and as such we must embark upon the Monday Morning Commute! This is the spot where I show you all of the entertainment-junk I’ll crammin’ down my mind-mandible during the next few days. Then, you hit up the comments section and tell everyone what you’ll be feastin’ upon to get to the end of the workweek. Yes, it’s a bit like show-and-tell.
Except instead of kindy-gardners, the participants are the depraved Internet pirates clingin’ to the deck of Spaceship OL.
Okay, let’s do this!
