Yeahhh, boi! Getting some fucking teeth grown. Which is very, very good for me. I can literally feel my teeth rotting out of my head. Stem cells from pee? Stem cells from anything, just get me new chompers.

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I wish my girlfriend was around to explain to me how pointless this news article happens to be. She loves nothing more than puncturing the balloons of pseudo-science I enjoy riding to happiness. She ain’t here though, and so I’m going to dig on this! No one shall stop my torrent of science ejaculation!

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Whenever I hear about advancements in the world of treating human eyes, I get particularly stoked. My Nana is way rocked by ocular degeneration, and while she won’t be able to receive whatever comes out of this breakthrough, I still find it particular ballin’.

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Oh lord, we’re tampering with the Seals of the Cosmos. Exceeding our limits. 7-Eleven? Dubstep? Both tempt the Lords of Kobol to smite us. However if those haven’t incurred a Wrath in the Year of the Mayan Oblivion, this may finally do us in. We can now create human eggs from stem cells.

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Oh glory be!, the future is coming. There may be help for people suffering from macular-degeneration like my fucking Nana. Stem cells! Delicious stem cells may be able to help you Nana, hold the fuck on!

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A trans-species transplant of brain matter? What could go wrong? How about everything. In the name of science, we continue charging into the chasm of our eventual doom.

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How do we get around all those nasty ethical hang-ups (for some) surrounding stem cells? How about breast milk. That’s right, breast milk.

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Researches are working on a technique that could created artificial red blood cells from bone marrow stem cells. This is a good thing, because the Forthcoming Vampire Robot Economic Apocalypse will demand that we have food for the vampires, blood to sell, and spare juice for the wounded body parts.

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Stem Cells. Super buzz word time! We’ve heard the words. We’ve heard the debate ad nauseam. Now we can hear this: stem cells are being used in trials to cure paralysis. In humans. Welcome to the fucking future.

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Welcome to the fucking future! It’s a glorious place to be. Even if we haven’t figured everything out, goddammit we’re capable of some truly amazing things. Case in point: the stem cell gun.

Kotaku:

Most of the damage from serious burns doesn’t come from flames. It comes from infections brought on by a lack of protection due to damaged skin. The lengthy healing process associated with major burns can leave patients open to such infections for months, even with proper care and wound dressing.

Doctor Jörg Gerlach of the University of Pittsburgh’s McGowan Institute for Regenerative Medicine has created a method that has patients regenerating new skin in days using stem cells.

Now before everyone flies off the handle, these aren’t the embryonic stem cells that have been so controversial over the past decade. These are skin stem cells harvested from the patient themselves; adult stem cells.

The cells are applied via a spray mechanism over the area damaged by the burn, and the results speak for themselves.

Fucking amen. I don’t know if I’m happy or disappointed that these cells aren’t culled from embryonic cells. Controversy!, it excites me.

Hit a jump for a video of the STEM CELL GUN in action.

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