[via slashfilm]

True or False: Wicket totally crushed Leia ass in the dense forests of Endor? C’mon. It’s a bit obvious. Who wouldn’t give it up to this pocket-sized batch of sex? I know I would.

Discuss.

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It’s Star Wars Day. May the Fourth. May the Force. See the connection? Ha! I know, right? I didn’t think it up. I was going to hate on the Prequels today, as I am usually wont to do at any mention of Star Wars. But why, right? Why mourn on the death when you can celebrate the life?

God bless Star Wars. God bless the whiny farmer, and the walking carpet, and the sexy space pirate, and the princess with no bra. God bless Kenobi, and the ultimate swagger pimp Vader. God bless John Williams, and George Lucas. Lucas, wherever you are in that fat bloated meatskull that carries your name, I tip my cap to you.

As lame as it sounds, Star Wars introduced wonder into my life. The sort of “gee whiz, anything is possible!” sort of mentality that while incorrect, is empowering. It showed me a galaxy full of oddities and it gave me a bildungsroman to follow as I myself was coming of age.

It consumed hours of my life, it still does. It gave me a mutual interest with friends, and in a way, it probably drew me in closer with Pepsibones. Prior to the Force, Pepsibones was just some kid I ripped bare-assed farts on and made fetch me bagels. But our mutual respect for Lightsabers and Falcons gave us something to get closer through, and now the piece of shit is my favorite person in this galaxy.

So yeah, may the force be wit ya’ll. Take this day to drop the snark and dream but for a moment.

(I’ll try my hardest.)

Came across this over at Slashfilm. What a gorgeous construction. While I’ve always been interested and entertained by steampunk, I’ve always been more of a cyberpunk sort of guy. This shit is gorgeous though, and for a good cause.

Via Slashfilm:

The helmet was created for the TK Project, a charity event the 501st Stormtooper Legion is holding for the Make A Wish Foundation.

Most righteous.

Came across this today at Slashfilm. It’s one of a bunch of posters, all of which make my balls swell.

Via Slashfilm:

Joe Corroney has been providing Lucasfilm with official Star Wars artwork for books, games, trading cards, comic books, posters and magazines since 1997. He recently created a set of propaganda posters which he’s selling the original art for $250 a piece.

I can’t afford $2.50 for one of these, let alone $250. But if I had the money I would be totally fiscally irresponsible.

Jesus Christ, these things make me hard. I found these Star Wars New Era 59Fifty caps over at the always fantastical /Film. They are ridiculously over the top and beautiful, in a geeky, obnoxious way.

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Search Engine Terms! For Valhalla! I haven’t checked these recently, but I thought that this search engine term was particularly rad.

My name is fucking Qui Gon!

I wish this was some sort of deleted scene, where Qui-Gon went all Maximus from Gladiator on some Sith motherfuckers. He’ll have his midiclorians in this life of the next!

Naw, instead he just dies, and takes with him the only redeemable acting job in the prequels. Fuck you, I said it.

I didn’t give a shit about the Clash of the Titans remake coming out next year. And then I saw Liam Neeson rocking the fuck out as Zeus in this picture. Can you you say god damn awesome? Liam Neeson is the man. He was the shining spot of the shit-bomb prequels. Qui-Gon Jin was radical, even if he had to put up with snotty little kids and barren women named Shmi. Shmi. Then he kicked the crap out of everyone in Taken.

Now he’s rocking the hell out of ornate armor as my God of choice. You can have your pathetic Jesus, I’ll take my lightning bolt throwing Zeus, god of sky and thunder.

I never played Star Wars Galaxies. Somehow despite being a complete Star Wars and video game fanatic, it slipped through my grasp. And then the few friends who did play it told me in no uncertain terms that it was horrible, a psychologically scarring experience, and induced late-term miscarriages in certain women and men.

So with that said, how the hell is this game still around? Sony announced today that they were closing some servers:

Via Kotaku:

Due to the overwhelming success of the recent Free Character Transfer Service, we want to inform you that on October 15, 2009, at 5:00 PM PT, Sony Online Entertainment (SOE) will close the following 12 Star Wars Galaxies servers:

o Corbantis
o Europe-Infinity
o Intrepid
o Kauri
o Kettemoor
o Lowca
o Naritus
o Scylla
o Tarquinas
o Tempest
o Valcyn
o Wanderhome

And all I could think was wait, this game still exists? What the fuck. Who are you sickos still playing this game? Do you really need to role play in a cantina band that badly? I feel frightened by you, and sympathy for you.