#June2011
Face of a Franchise: Archetypal Wise Old Man!
[face of a franchise presents two individuals that’ve fulfilled the same role. your task — choose the better of the two and defend your choice in the rancor pit that is the comments section]
The wise old man may be my favorite archetype of all. This is the dude that lives on the outskirts and is ostracized by regular folk because his otherworldly knowledge frightens them. Fortunately, this geezer’s benevolence keeps him buoyant enough to guide a callow protagonist on his epic journey, imparting wisdom along the way.
Oh, he’s also been known to die mid-journey. But don’t worry, he’ll probably return from the grave. And if he does, the chief’s going to have plus-thirty Sick Powers.
Virgil. Pai Mei. Merlin. Odin. Henry. All wise old men. All bosses.
But there are two that stand shoulders above the rest, not only fulfilling the role of the helpful wizard but defining it for new generations. I’ll make a case for each and then let you hit up the comments section with your choice. Omega-Readers, short or tall, who is the dopest wizard of them all?
Ben Kenobi or Gandalf?
13 Comments »
Face of a Franchise: Holy Handmaidens!
[face of a franchise presents two individuals that’ve fulfilled the same role. your task — choose the better of the two and defend your choice in the rancor pit that is the comments section]
The Star Wars prequels were unmitigated disasters. Any attempt to debate this truism will be met with a polite request to leave OL. A refusal to do so will result in an introduction to the Midichlorian Masher – a butt-paddle we bought at the local state college’s annual auction of confiscated contraband.
Don’t tempt us.
Chewbacca and Ewok Rock Out To Guns N’ Roses. Fecaltainment ++
A good friend and Omegalyte with the nom de existence Charlie passed this video to me. It’s none other than Chewbacca and an Ewok rocking the fuck out to Welcome to the Jungle by GnR at Star Wars Disney Wowiekazowie Day or whatever. More proof that as our culture implodes in on itself, we’re all in for a fucking treat.
Hit the jump for the video.
The Grillenium Falcon Is The Coup de Grâce Of Food Trucks.
Best goddamn grilled cheese in all the known systems.
Hungarian Star Wars Posters Are Surreal Mess.
Star Wars posters coming out of Hungary are a surreal mess. I’m not really certain what’s going on in them, and I’m actually pretty fucking stoked about it. It’s pretty much just Pyramid Darth Vader holding it down in the desert or some shit.
Hit the jump to check them out.
Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Is To Be Released In 3D; Taste The Suck In New Dimensions.
Pig Fucker Lucas is set to release the first of his botched abortion, straggling kicking legs out of a vagina, bloody soul crushing prequels in 3D. I will not be happy until George Lucas is finger-raped by a midget with gigantism of the fingers. Want the press release? Whatever, fuck you!
Darth Vader As A Busty Pin-Up Girl? Nice! [Images.]
Yayzus Graphics went ahead and re-envisioned token male characters from the Star Wars universe as pin-up girls. I don’t know what’s more disconcerting; the idea, or the fact that I find myself mildly aroused. Yes, yes, Admiral Ackbar with breasts. Oh, so glorious. I can’t tell if this is sharp subversion of powerful male figures, or just good natured fun.
Who the fuck cares?
Hit the jump to see Darth Vader and Greedo with boobs.
Found! Ralph McQuarrie ‘STAR TREK’ 1977 concept art. Gorgeous.
File under: shit I didn’t know. To be fair, that file is enormous. According to io9, around the time that McQuarrie was dropping the concept art for Star Wars that us geeks have jacked it to for years, he was designing some Trek concept sheezy too. The concept art is for a Trek movie that never got off the ground, Star Trek: Planet of the Titans. However flawed the scripts may have been, the artwork is fucking gorgeous. And familiar. Very familiar. There’s some super-Star Wars overtones running throughout, but that’s pretty win-win, no?
Sneaker Alert! Preview of the Star Wars x Adidas 2011 Line.
Sneaker Freaker carried a preview of the Preview of the Star Wars x Adidas 2011 line. Some of it is dope, some of it is gaudy, but the important thing is this: it’s all fucking Star Wars. Freaker breaks down what we’re looking at here:
The collection is broken into two parts – the ‘Select Pack’ that is closely modeled on characters from the original film franchise, and the ‘Direct Pack’ which fuses the Star Wars universe with sports and pop culture. Highlights include a AT-AT Pilot El Dorado with a jumbo tongue similar to the Jeremy Scott Mickeys; a vividly detailed Skyline with the urban skyline replaced by an illustration of the Imperial planet Coruscant; and a deathly dark ZX-8000 with crackling energy beams on the midsole representing Emporor Palpatine. There’s also a nod to the Imperial Guard, a rasta Boba Fett mash up, plus some Ewing inspired Storm Trooper ballers.
Hit the jump for a gallery of the line.
C-3PO Female Bathing Suit Gets The Fluids Going, Completes The Droids Fantasy
Since the wonderful unveiling of the R2D2 bathing suit, there’s been an obvious question: where the C-3PO suit at? Well here it is, true believers. Here. It. Is. If you’ve ever wanted to have a threesome with the two beloved droids, this may be your closest chance. Actually, it’d probably be two monsters in clunky cardboard suits. But still. Just imagine it’s with two hot women, one donning a C-3PO one-piece, the other in an R2D2 of similar like.
Hit the jump for the pictures.
