One lucky man received an enormous R2-D2 cake for his fortieth birthday. It’s the glory, yo. Usually I don’t understand the need for ostentatious cakes, but frankly this shit makes perfect sense to me.

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Call me crazy, but I subscribe to the notion that, since its beginning, the universe has been ever-spreading and everything within its massive expansion has gone along for the ride. Following suit, every initial notion with storytelling potential tends to enlarge exponentially, growing with time and purpose into stories and, if the commercial and/or artistic drive remains resolute, these stories multiply into sequels and beyond. This especially holds true for the interstellar saga from a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. After its explosive entrance into the public sphere in ‘77, the Star Wars universe took three years to develop from A New Hope into The Empire Strikes Back, wherein its archetypal characters became more complex and their dilemmas darkened as SW’s expansion followed its primary course into the emptiness of space. But then something changed: George Lucas, supreme author, came down and let there be lightness where the darkness once dominated. And this certifiable change is evident in the trilogy’s finale, Return of the Jedi.

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Last week I took a pounding for hating on some classic movies.   Except the Hangover … seems most of the super intelligent OL crowd didn’t fall for that movie.   This week I want to move on to happier topics, like death.   What makes a good death scene?   Dying for ones beliefs and convictions?   Sure, that’ll do.   Giving some epic prose before sloughing off this mortal coil?   Sure, that’s a good one too.   I think that a great death scene has meaning.   This means that we have to care about the characters, no easy feat.   So here they are, my top 5 Death Scenes.

Just be warned, there are spoilers ahead for the following movies: Star Wars, LA Confidential, Saving Private Ryan, Blade Runner, and Highlander: End Game.

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There’s video of Han Solo cutting a a rug in Kinect Star Wars  has hit the net, and people are up in arms. You know, I pretend to be upset, but let’s get real. The Star Wars  Christmas Special  hit many, many moons ago. Exploiting the franchise has been going on for thirty  years. It’s the fucking with the trilogy that’s beyond the pale. Check out the video, you’re going to love it. Or cry.

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Bounce to that shit, Wicket. Bounce to that shit.

Ain’t this the veritable mash-up. We have the AT-AT walker meeting an oil painting. It says, “Yeah, I’m sweaty and I like convention circuits, but I also discuss the franchise scat fest George Lucas has created over some wine. That I sip out of my Empire Strikes Back  wine glass.”

Forget the Force being strong with me, I need to get down with the  Uzay. Such is the name of a line of Star Wars  action figure knock-offs rolled out in the late 1980s in Turkey. As far as I’m concerned, the Turkish masterminds behind this line of figures were simply cleaning up lore, and elaborating on obvious concepts. Or losing their goddamn minds.

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I once spent an entire afternoon hanging out with Boba Fett. He showed me around Slave I, taught me how to use a jetpack, and even let me tag along when he met some of his scummy friends for a drink. It was pretty much the best Saturday of my life.

Actually, that’s a lie. I didn’t get to do any of that shit. I was just trying to impress you.

But, what I did get to do this Saturday afternoon was spend some time with a six-pack of Black Jack Porter from the Left Hand Brewing Company. C’mon, let me apologize for telling tall tales by describing this beer to you! Seriously, check out my brew review! I promise it’ll be a halfway decent read!

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I didn’t know that Topher Grace was anything outside of Venom from Spider-Man 3. That’s literally  the only place I know him from. So when /Film mentioned yesterday that not only was he a huge movie buff but that he also had edited the Star Wars  prequels into one 85-minute movie, I was shocked. Then I just felt bad for the guy.

Hit the jump for video for reaction and details.

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Ralph McQuarrie has passed away. Son of a bitch, that mortality. If you know Star Wars, then you’ve loved on his designs for the universe. Lucas himself has penned a eulogy. Hit the jump to check it out.

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