#April2013
NEW ‘STAR WARS’ EVERY F**KING YEAR, starting in 2015.
I imagine this is going to be a divisive development among those of us who shove lightsabers in our ass – nay, need to shove lightsabers in our ass – just to have an orgasm. Disney has dropped that they are planing on releasing a new Star Wars flick every year, starting in 2015. To this I say: fuck yes! Certainly, it may devalue the magic of the original franchise. However, it’ll also give us a copious amount of the Universe we love. And if one of the flicks sucks? Eh, maybe next year! That said, I can completely understand those who fear overexposure, and underwhelming installments.
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Watch: PATTON OSWALT’s brilliant ‘STAR WARS’ x ‘MARVEL’ crossover pitch.
Patton Oswalt is appearing on this week’s episode of the fucking fantastic Parks and Rec. One of the preeminent Lords of Dork was asked by the show to play a filibusterer, and given the choice to ramble about whatever he wanted. Oswalt delivered with nothing less than a delicious hallucinatory pitch for a Star Wars x Marvel crossover that we would all love. Don’t deny it.
Dave Perillo strikes awesome with this ‘EMPIRE STRIKES BACK’ poster. I know, -1 for the pun.
Dave Perillo’s Empire Strikes Back poster is an adorable (albeit expensive) little morsel of nerdery I wish I could purchase. Seeing that I am poor (I originally typed porn here, if you want a look into my psyche), I must worship it from afar.
Hit the jump to check it out.
Disney closes LUCASARTS, cancels ‘STAR WARS 1313.’ You DARK SIDE sumbitches!
Son of a bitch! Walt Disney’s cryogenic head has reared up, crushing LucasArts. They exist no more, the financial Death Star eradicating the studio that has enriched countless lives. Such is the furious fist of capitalism, I suppose. The destruction has taken with it Star Wars 1313, a game which had the rare title of “Star Wars game I actually give a fuck about.”
Dark Horse adapting insane FIRST ‘STAR WARS’ script. Pure Madness.
Madness strikes! Dark Horse is adapting the first script for Uncle George’s Star Wars. The entire enterprise is the result of hard drugs, lizard fetishes, and terrible plots. I cannot wait to buy this.
Joss Whedon: I wouldn’t have brought back original characters for ‘EPISODE VII.’
Well, here is the big comment from Whedon that is slithering its way through the Inter-Pipes of Geek-Fandom tonight. Let’s engage it, and then let me know where you side in the debate. Me? I’m pretty much in the middle. I would have been happy if they weren’t in the series, but I’m also okay with it. Provided, of course, it is done well. At the very least, I feel Whedon’s sentiment.
Carrie Fisher returning as Leia in ‘STAR WARS: EPISODE VII.’ No s**t.
Like, we’re all pretty sure that the original Three Star Folk are going to be back for Episode I+IV+III, right? Is this news? Or just another excuse for me to masturbate into the empty shell of my Jar Jar Binks Pepsi can?
Pointless Rumor: ‘STAR WARS: KNIGHTS OF THE OLD REPUBLIC’ movie may be in works.
Listen, everyone else is talking about this rumor. Why shouldn’t we? God dammit! Why shouldn’t we? Especially since KOTOR means so much to me. When the game dropped ten years ago (TEN YEARS?!), it taught me an important lesson. At the time, I was in the depths of a deep sadness. Star Wars had sucked for two movies in a row, and I was convinced. Convinced that the entire fucking Star Wars Thing sucked. Along came KOTOR and sliced through that blanket of statement, proving that the Universe itself was ripe. No, no. Star Wars didn’t suck. George Lucas did. So it would be particularly fitting to me if the game that proved a Universe’s Worth in the darkest of hours was given the filmic treatment. I don’t think it will, but hey. Let’s pretend.
Dude turns entire LIVING ROOM into BATTLE OF HOTH diorama. Forceful++
Think you’re a hardcore Star Wars geek? Homeboy right here responds to such thoughts with a staunch “nay.” Behold the wonder of an entire living room turned into the Battle of Hoth.
Hit the jump to check out the wonder.
JOHN WILLIAMS wants to score new ‘STAR WARS’ trilogy. Giacchino weeps.
Johnny Williams is all up in the Star Wars news, announcing that he would like to score the new trilogy. Don’t you almost feel as though they have to let the dude indulge in one last Forceful dalliance? Meanwhile, Michael Giacchino was prepping for his moment in the SWU when he heard the news. Abrams’ fave soundtracking bro now stands alone in a field of sadness. Don’t despair, Giacchino! Maybe J.J. pulls a power move, instead awarding you the privilege. Who knows.
