Wait. Wait. Wait!!! You’re saying one hot Star Wars property could cross over into another one? In a time where persistent, connected Universes make every Pop Culture Film-Media Czar’s genitals drip? You don’t say!

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Can I get a fuck yeah?! It’s Friday! Which means it’s time for many, many things. Provided you are one of us proles blessed (and it is more and more becoming a genuine blessing) with having the weekend off. Drinking! TV binging. Maybe some sexy-sex? Reading, gaming. All sorts of shit! And this is Weekend Open Bar! Where we come together. Pop a soda-beer-bottle-of-wine-whiskey, whatever. Share in the revelry of the next two days.

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I promised myself I wouldn’t fucking tease release dates in headlines anymore, but Star Wars Rebels is a bit more complicated than usual. It’s debuting across a fucking application,  a website, and a TV station. All on different dates! So sorry, yo. Ain’t like the extra click is getting me any money. (Ain’t like anything is getting me any money.)

But deets and a pretty awesome Star Wars: Rebels short after the break.

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Amped for Star Wars Rebels? I am! Want a taste of the show? I do! And by God, here is one. What, you’re saying I wouldn’t have randomly typed the first two questions into a WordPress box if there wasn’t a taste available? Fuck you and watch the short!

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Oh god. OH GOD. Oh god! This trailer for Star Wars Rebels is the fucking berries, man.

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Oh me! Oh my! The first Star Wars Rebels character has been revealed, and he’s your Dad’s Uncle’s lazy 13 year-old son’s idea of cool. Soul patch. Ponytail. Ah, ah, ah, I see.

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So the first new character in the Star Wars Universe since the Disney buy has been revealed. He is also the homie that is going to be tormenting the heroes of Star Wars Rebels. First thought? Where the fuck is Vader? But then I was like — I suppose they need to give the heroes someone they can defeat. Since like, Vader hangs on for twenty years before getting rocked by Old Saggy Face and his hick son.

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This teaser trailer for Star Wars Rebels is essentially nothing. That doesn’t stop it from essentially breaking my dick with excitement.

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Mofuckahs are partying over in Germany. All sorts of celebrating shit. You know, at that Jedi Gathering Thing. One of the things they’re raising the roof about is the official reveal of Star Wars Rebels.

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