Polycount forum user Nix  has created a set of low-polygon Mass Effect models. It’s a smash-up of my favorite game ever, and possibly my favorite franchise this generation. Hell yes.

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When I was fourteen, all I wanted to do was run around Midgar with the Buster Sword, killing people and making out with Tifa. I figured that if that emaciated wimp Cloud could swing it around, I could too! But this video proves I was wrong. Dead wrong.  The video shows that the sword cannot be wielded by Cloud, or awesome dudes with beard, but only by those worthy: huge, muscle-bound dudes with backwards hats and orange skin.

Hit the jump to see the Buster Sword crush some shit, under the tutelage of Gym Rat Steve or whatever.

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There’s a ton of sweet-ass new Final Fantasy XIII images over at Destructoid.

Gotta give it up to the dialogue they decided to translate:

SHUT UP AND COME QUIET

File under: Not a coincidence. Sorry Fing Fang Foom, or whatever your name is, I ain’t a quiet kind of guy. I usually switch it up between “Shazam, Shazam, Shazam!” or “BY THE POWER OF GREY SKULL” when I’m rocketing an orgasm. As an aside, Fing Fang Foom looks like Rinoa after she decided to defy her parents, and get a shitty tattoo that Jecht from Final Fantasy X was all like “No seriously, you’ll look fucking AWESOME if you get this.”

Never trust a dude with bandana*

(Snake is the exception that proves the rule.)