Let’s play the game! The first set photos have leaked of Andrew Garfield as Peter Parker! Now, it’s up to us to complete the second part of the game. We stare at these pictures long and hard. With our fanboy nerd goggles on. Then we get hyper-analytic and needlessly extrapolate!

Hit the jump for the pictures, and don’t forget to either laud or praise the film based on these pictures alone!

It’s your nerd civic duty.

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Completely sensationalist title! Ha! I got you! And I just stole your cookie, what the fuck are you going to do? But no seriously. Apparently Emma Stone was on Jay Leno last night, and she dropped the claim that she’s going to be around for a few web-slinging flicks. When Jay asked how long she’ll be keeping her blond hair, she responded “There’s a few Spidermen, so I may have to keep it for a couple of years.”

Wut!

Every Spider-Man dude knows that Gwen bites the fucking bullet hard. It’s one of the multitude of reasons that Parker is a whiny bitch. But! Could they be changing something? Is Gwen going to live? Sure, her surviving one film doesn’t mean she isn’t going to die eventually. However, let’s dare to dream. I’d be very excited if they decided to keep Gwen as Parker’s main squeeze.

Not only have we done the whole courting of Mary Jane, but I’m going to hit you guys with something: I fucking hate Mary Jane. Yeah, I know she symbolizes the impossibility that the average nerd can’t attain. What is more of an accomplishment than the dweeb acquiring the supermodel who gets him?

Not much.

But I’ve always preferred Stacy to MJ, and if this means she’ll be keeping a pulse for the foreseeable future, then good.

Someone is going to a funeral! As Spider-Man begins shooting this week, the first set photos have dropped. Just what the fuck is going on here? Slashfilm speculates that Gwen is attending (spoilers, fools) the funeral of her father. Apparently Father Stacy   passes away in the comic books and implores Spidey to watch over Gwen. Guess he’s going to be pretty upset that its his webbing that snaps her damn neck in the funnies.

But also, why not Uncle Ben’s funeral? Who knows.

Hit the jump for the pictures.

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Denis Leary is swinging onto the set of the new Spider-Man movie. Puns, ahoy! Leary will be playing George Stacy, father of the inestimably superior Parker love interest, Gwen. Well, until she all gets her neck broken and shit. It’s casting that I wouldn’t have seen coming, but to be truthful, I wasn’t even contemplating Gwen’s family or the necessity of casting them.

I’m cool with it, as long as it doesn’t result in Lenny Clarke getting cast as anything but a corpse in the flick. Leary’s friend seems to be his sidekick, and seems to find his way into things the former is cast in. The problem? He is the anti-funny, eliminating funny within a thirty foot radius of anything he does.

Thoughts on the casting?

Oh god dammit. February solicitations in Previews have the teaser: Death of Spider-Man. I can’t wait for a big character in the DC and Marvel Universe living to become the New Black. Everyone will be shitting themselves, “Dude, I can’t believe they fucking let Steve Rogers live!, it was insane!” I’m tired of motherfuckers dying. Steve Rogers, Bruce Wayne, it looks like Matt Murdock and on and on. ‘Cause guess what! Them fucks come back! Every time. Now it’s Peter Parker’s turn to die. Yawn. Snore. Wake me up.

Prediction: I’m hoping that Marvel isn’t annoying enough to kill off Parker. They’re just going to have to resurrect him prior to his movie coming out. So instead, they’ll probably and maybe, and sort of go with the equally annoying metaphorical death. Parker may give up the costume again. For the zillionth time. Of course. He’ll get all emo and decide he wants to tour Haiti or something and help with the cholera outbreak. Or maybe, it’s just a bullshit teaser and nothing will come of it.

Conclusion: I’m pretty sure whatever they decide, it’ll be stupid. Overblown. Hype.

Thoughts? Impressions? Equally resigned laments as myself? Hit the comments box.

SO yeah. The Lizard is the baddie in Marc Webb’s Spider-Man reboot, starring Andrew Garfield. Cool? I’m not getting particularly stoked, but that isn’t because I think the movie isn’t going to be deec. It’s got Webb and Garfield and that’s enough to have my interest. But Rhys Ifans as Dr. Curt Connors? Okay, sure! The sort of news which is worth noting, but really don’t get me feeling it in either direction.

I can appreciate the direction they seem to be taking with the new flick. No Goblin as the villain? No Mary Jane as the primary love interest? Parker is in college? Say what you will about how soon they’re rebooting the franchise, at least they’re putting a different stamp on it. Right? Sure!

What say you?

I know that I didn’t cover any of the casting for the new X-Men movie, and here I am jerking off over the Spider-Man sheez. Well, I’ll inform you as to why I am behaving in this manner! At the time, I didn’t give a fuck about First Class. Forgive me! I’m sort of coming around on it now, though.

However, given that Marc Webb made my weepy, pussy, emo child heart leap and sing with 500 Days of Summer, I’ve been invested in his whole Spider-man reboot enterprise. Well come today, we find out that Emma Stone is going to be playin’ Gwen Stacy in the next movie. Say word? Say word! Stone was pretty dope in Zombieland and Superbad, and though I haven’t seen it, I’ve been told that Easy A is pretty snazzy.

I’m sold on it, yo. When they had reported that she was going to be MJ (since she’s always rocking red hair), I was like, oh? But now that she’s Gwen Stacy, I’m all, oh!

Yeah, I’m just babbling. Here’s hoping that Stone’s neck breaks and we all are moved by it. [Confused and aghast? LEARN YOUR LORE KID.]

The dude from the best (not really) movie of all time, Jumper, who totally fights Anakin from Attack of the Douchesabers is going to be Spider-Man? Maybe? We’ll see?

via slashfilm

I’ll keep this short, since we have no reliable info to go on. The site Bleeding Cool  is reporting that multiple sources have told them that actor Jamie Bell has been tapped to star in Sony’s reboot of Spider-Man, directed by Marc Webb.

Well then! I really have no idea about this dude, save for the fact that no seriously, I enjoyed him in Jumper. Oh wait, he was fucking Billy Elliot?! I’m double sold.

As an aside, I knew my girlfriend was either a) crazy in love with me or b) crazy when I took her to Jumper like three weeks into our relationship. “Oh hey! Come see a shitty action movie with me, because I love lighthearted slop starring Robotic Jedi and Apparently Spider-Man!”

Nice!

[via robot 6]

This is the cover to Amazing Spider-Man #641. I love it. Listen man, I don’t usually like Spider-Man. And I usually don’t care that Mary Jane and him have been estranged ever since that dumb bastard spared Aunt May’s life in the One More Day storyline. But this is just a pretty piece of artwork by Paolo River, which is depicting, I assume, the reunion of Petey and MJ.

Just because I think LOST devolved into transdimensional love dogshit don’t mean I’m not a romantic, yo.

Bruce Campbell is fucking awesome. It’s a scientific fact. If you don’t like Bruce Campbell, I’d fancy beating your head in with a can of Spaghettio’s. And then I’d drag your useless corpse to your parents, and say, “You made this refuse, please recycle.” So when I hear that Bruce Campbell is going to have a ‘larger’ role in Spider-Man 4 I get sort of excited:

Via /Film

According to the info garnered by Access Hollywood, Campbell is expecting his role in the next film to be “a major part.” Of course, they translated this in their headline to there being a “villainous role in the works” for the actor, despite the absolute lack of evidence to support this supposition.

I don’t think anyone with a functioning frontal lobe (which sadly isn’t as many people as I’d like) can defend the asshole vomit that is Spider-Man 3. It was terrible. And the sequence in which Peter Parker dances in a jazz club was straight out of…I don’t know. I don’t even have a funny remark.

As bad as it was though, Sam Raimi is fucking rad. Everyone and their dog knows that Raimi had Venom shoved down his god damn throat, and he didn’t really dig the guy, et cetera. So let’s float the guy a mulligan, why not? Drag Me To Hell was the sleeper movie of the summer, and I enjoyed the crap out of the first two Spidey movies. Maybe if they let him rock out with his cock out like he wants to, and they don’t jam their conceived notion of what the film should be, it’ll be sweet.

Now they just need to find a way to make Peter Parker not look like a wimpy douchebag who needs to get over his Uncle’s death. And recast Kirsten Dunst. Who has the worst teeth this side of Anna Paquin.

Let’s get er done!