#September2012
JUPITER does us a solid, saves us from potential DEVASTATING impact.
If you’re a space geek like me, then you know that Jupiter is essentially Earth’s bulwark. It saves us from a fair amount of shit that comes floating through the shooting gallery that is our solar system. Recently the Enormous Bastard may have extended this solid yet again.
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HUBBLE spots GALAXY that “shouldn’t exist”…we know nothing.
I’m particularly fond of the stories that contain remarks like “shouldn’t exist” or “defies expectations” or “confuses the shit out of people.” It makes me warm knowing that as much progress we make, we are generally still blind mice milling about in a world of confusion. The Universe is still full of wonder.
Stars SCREAM while being eaten by BLACK HOLES. Cold motherf**kers.
Black holes. I already knew they were bad ass. Turns out, they’re the coldest of motherfuckers. Not only do they gobble up stars, but whilst they do so the stars are all “Jesus Christ, stop, stop!” screaming with little dignity and no resignation.
The PRAWN NEBULA rocks that fishy cosmic swag.
Relativity in motion, folks. While it is has been dubbed the Prawn Nebula, anything is 250 light-years across gets the nod in my book as fucking enormous. It is all relative. That’s why me and my demur cottage crotch only date people under three feet in height. Relativity.
August’s BLUE MOON is gorgeous space rock.
I had no idea that it was possible for there to be two full Moons in one month. That shouldn’t be surprising, since I an an unwashed dunce. What a thrill though!, to continue learning even as I go grey and find my flatulence becoming unrestrained flatulence splattering undies and hair molecules alike.
Let’s learn!
SpaceX gets clearance to begin resupply missions to the International Space Station in October. Pumpkin Lager INC.
SpaceX is going to be bringing the fucking pumpkin spice to space this October. At least, that is what I would be doing if I was running the resupply missions during such a season. Getting ripped to the tits, staring at the Blue Marble from afar.
NASA pulls off a 350-million mile software update. Mars ain’t nothing!
NASA doesn’t fear distance! Nor space! Those dreaming fools have updated Curiosity’s software. No big deal, it was only a 350-million mile jaunt from Earth to Mars. Just another day in the life of those space-wizards.
Perseid Meteor set against the Milky Way-filled sky. Space porn.
I wish I was rocking out in this particular portion of Germany. The night sky be all filled up with Perseid meteors, set up against a cuddly portion of the Milky Way. Ain’t it quite romantical? Just me and my cardboard cut-out of Jennifer Lawrence, gazing into the Universe. Her ignoring my hand on her bubub, ignoring the red wine I’m spilling all over myself. Peace. Tranquility.
Pow! Two galaxies throwing down in eternal headbutting contest.
These galaxies ain’t getting along. Ain’t getting along at all. The two of them are colliding, in a billions-of-years dance of death. Eventually they will reconcile their differences, to forge an uber-galaxy capable of bodyslamming anything in its way and acting way rude in bars.
The TARANTULA NEBULA is shiny cosmic web of awesome.
Yeah, yeah. I’ve been slacking on the space porn lately, and for that I fall upon my blade. It pierces the jittery remnants of my heart, propelling me into action. Wait, how can I do that when I’m dead? Guilt motivates the corpses. Powerful agent.
