#March2014
EXPECTED: Sony is making ‘THE LAST OF US’ into a movie.
“Oh God, why do they have to adapt this? Good fucking luck!”, “Oh God, they’re adapting this flick, it would be perfect.” And I’m like in the middle of this shit covered in spittle, eating popcorn in my boxer-briefs, and dipping the kernels in the peanut butter smegma in my navel. Just sort of shrugging.
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Sony: ‘SPIDER-MAN’ MOVIES EVERY YEAR! Me: LOLOKAY
In case you’re the last asshole upon a bastion of denial when it comes to Sony’s plans for Spider-Man, you may want to listen up. Some Big Wig Person of Importance has announced that there will be a “Spider-Man” movie every year. Now this totally translates into “we don’t own any cool Marvel properties, so we’re going to puff up the Arachnid Universe.”
Sony EXPANDING ‘SPIDER-MAN’ FRANCHISE with ‘VENOM’ AND ‘SINISTER SIX’ flicks.
Cinematic comic book universes for all! All the universes! All the characters! ‘Cause when something is hot in Hollywood, you do the obvious. Wring the concept of all its energy, novelty, and excitement. Sony knows how Hollywood works. Sony has their hands obviously on the meat grinder.
Sony is working on SMART WIGS. Yes. Smart Wigs.
Man! Fuck my shitty hair! And don’t just fuck it because of my receding hairline. Fuck this dome-muff because of how fucking pedestrian its capabilities are. Can’t do shit! Mannnn, I gotta get me a smart wig.
A smart wig.
PLAYSTATION 4 sells over 1 MILLION CONSOLES On FIRST DAY. Fastest++
The PlayStation 4 is Sony’s fastest selling console of all time. Moving mad units! Crashing their PSN like a motherfucker. I have to admit that this surprises me. I’ve sort of anticipated that despite all the positive buzz for the console, the XBRO would run over it none the less. It still may. But this is a great start for the company’s new Big Bad.
Sony working on VIRTUAL REALITY HEADSET for PS4. This again?
Apparently that Oculus Rift is hot shit, ’cause it got Sony churning out its own VR headset. I’m going to level with you: I don’t get the Rift, or the point of this headset. And I don’t mean that I actually do get it, and I’m contemptuous of it. I really don’t get how it functions? You turn your head instead of moving a joystick? Something like that? Man…I’m feeling old.
DISNEY and SONY begin streaming IN-THEATER MOVIES to combat piracy.
In-theater movies could be coming to your house soon! Provided that you live in South Korea. Big provision, I know. Still though, this news is a bit interesting. Sony and Disney are going to begin streaming their own flicks still running at the movies in order to combat piracy. You down?
E3 vs PR – Part III: Microsoft Monday and Mixed Messages
Let’s talk about how important Monday was for determining the game industry’s narrative for the coming months.
Let’s also talk about what it means to gamers like you, and me, and how industry giants like Microsoft and Sony communicated with us via the grand stage of E3.
Monday saw PR-beleageured Microsoft take the stage first, around 9:30 a.m. Pacific Time. There’s no beating around the bush – they had an uphill battle to wage, one very much set up by their own PR snafoos over the last month.
E3 vs PR – Part II: The Whirlwind of E3’s Media Days
The Monday and Tuesday of the annual E3 week are always a fascinating pair of days to watch unfold from a PR perspective. The show floor opens its doors to attendees on Tuesday afternoon, but by then, an entire story has been told to the media through a series of conferences, briefings and events that kick off the week.
E3 seems unlike any other industry trade show on the planet. It’s equivalents in other industries, from television, to film, to fashion, to food, all seem tame by comparison. At least, from the perspective of public relations.
‘THE LAST GUARDIAN’ is ‘ON HIATUS.’ Confirmed to be SPENDING WEEKENDS with ‘HALF-LIFE 3.’
The Last Guardian is “oh hiatus”? Uhhh. I know it’s not the same thing, but a game that hasn’t been shown for years isn’t one that I consider active. Hiding, “on hiatus”, in development Hell. These are all roses by another name. At least to me.
