#April2015
SEINFELD x OCULUS RIFT = This VR Is Making Me Thirsty?
The Oculus Rift has been employed to explore all sorts places, things. You can get your head off! You can fly! You can…explore Seinfeld’s apartment! Sit down on the coach and make somewhat banal but amsing observations while the laugh track lulls you to sleep. Seriously though: sort of neat.
Monday Morning Commute: A Fertile Heart Attack.
Absalom Fabliaux was halfway done with a breakthrough paragraph when he was interrupted.
“Haythaire, old man! Haythaire! Whatturya doing? Writing a poetry? An’ wireyou dranking Pepsi?”
Although Fabliaux found creative solace in the white-noise of this particular bar, he also knew that it was inevitably accompanied by crescendos of human detritus. Oily Three-Pieces clamoring about the day’s acquisitions. Stock Pirates tryin’ to sandbag tear-floods with shot glasses. Little Black Dresses guffawing their ways into Designer Pants, hoping to find wallets in the process. In this case, a Pie-Eyed Intern intrigued by the sight of an obviously out of place Miscreant drinkin’ Pepsi and punchin’ at a word-processor.
“Searsly, man, whillyu read me a poetry?”
In his younger and more vulnerable years, Absalom might’ve responded with a left hook. He’d had no patience for drunken curiosities. Many a tooth’d been spilled because of some errant remark to which offense’d been taken. This was, most likely, a symptom of the disease known as Self-Loathing, as Señor Fabliaux himself was once known as the most unabashedly drunken, incorrigibly inquisitive writers of his generation.
But with age comes patience, and there ain’t no doubt that Absalom Fabliaux was old as fuck.
“Son, I’m not writing a poem, I’m writing a novel.”
A vapid gaze spread into a smile. Pie-Eyed was excited. “A novel? Like a book?!”
“Exactly.”
“Oh shit! I usedta read books all the time, when I was a liddle kid…I haven’t even thoughta readin’ a book in years.”
Absalom took a hearty rip of refreshing cola. “Well, you should – there ain’t no goddamn experience like sittin’ down with a good book.”
Pie-Eyed’s head lolled from shoulder to shoulder in equal parts intoxication and amazement. This old bastard – who appeared more suited for dock-work or trash-disposal than word-crafting – had reminded him of a lost love. An affinity suppressed. A lust relegated to dreams.
Unprompted, Pie-Eyed leaned forward, tapped Absalom’s temple, and asked, “So, do ya got a good book in there?”
“I don’t know.” After a beat, the writer tapped his left breast, “But in here, I’ve got ex-wives and dead friends and missed opportunities. And there ain’t no ground more fertile for stories than this sort of heaviness.”
“Will…will you tell me about a dead friend?”
“You’re goddamn right I will. Barkeep! I need another Pepsi over here!”
—-
Welcome to the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE! As the navigator of Spaceship OL, I’m goin’ to chart an itinerary through the Pop-Nonsense Territories. After you check out the destinations I’ll be steering us towards this week, it’s up to you to hit up the comments section — where’ll you be heading this week? Comic Book Station? The TV Armory? The Cinema Sand Dunes?
In other words, it’s a show-and-tell danceathon for the Digital Nerd Crew.
Let’s headspin!
Monday Morning Commute: fast-food debauchery
Aloha! Welcome to the Monday Morning Commute! What is it that I do here at the MMC? Well, first I gather up all of Spaceship OL’s passengers – nerd-culture slovens and amigos and infidels alike! Then, I show `em the various bits of art and trash and fast-food debauchery that I’ll be devourin’ during the course of the week. At this point, I deactivate the laser-shackles and let the wayfarers bludgeon one another with their prospective plans for destroying ennui and undermining workplace productivity.
It’s a thing of goddamn beauty.
C’mon, jump in and join the madness!
