#April2012
“Dinosaur-Killer” ASTEROIDS Way More Common Than Thought. Wee!
Apparently Jupiter is like, way slacking. You see, that big gassy son of a bitch is supposed to be our bulwark against cosmic refuse and shit smashing into us and like, ending civilization. Yet according to new reports cataclysmic asteroids used to be way more common than we’d rather think about.
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Study: Watching Porn Turns Off Your Brain. Well, I’m F**ked.
There’s really studies for this sort of thing. To prove that porn turns off your brain. Well shit. It seems pretty obvious that porn turns off the brain-pipe, but no man. We have to study it. Funding.
Space Firm To Make Big Announcement. Somewhere in his lair, Michael Bay just coughed up blood and doesn’t know why.
The interwebs are all a-twitter (no pun intended… except it was totally intended) with excitement and speculation after a new company called Planetary Resources dropped a press release about an upcoming space venture that will ensure humanity’s continuing prosperity. They’re backed by a whole mess of people with deep pockets — Google and James Cameron, to name a few — and are going to lay down their proposal on April 24th.
Now, the press release itself is incredibly vague, and I’m guessing that was deliberate, but what can you expect from people who worked for the organization that told us Pluto was a planet and then went “Our bad. Might want to start thinking about some new mnemonic devices.”
Hit the jump to read the press release.
Mysterious DARK REGIONS OF MARS Are Made Of Glass. Contemplate That Shizz.
10 Million square kilometers of northern lowlands on Mars are made up of glass. Volcanic glass. That fucking planet, man. Keeps paying dividens in awesomeness.
Ultra-Absorbent “NANOSPONGE” Could Be Used To Fix The Worst Oil Spills. Yeah Science!
Ah! The future! Sometimes the future sucks. Like, you know, how we’re still using oil to get our asses around places. Where’s my nuclear-powered jet pack? However, the future can also be pretty swell. Like when it finds ways to clean up all those silly oil spills.
Video: Yesterday’s SOLAR FLARE In All Its Glory
Boom! Yesterday bore witness to a pretty friggin’ fantastic sunspot. I ain’t going to keep barking my gelantinous mind-mush.
Hit the jump to check it out.
ASTEROID That Killed DINOSAURS Might Create Life In Other Solar Systems. Paying It Forward ++
Here’s a potential happy ending to Jurassic Park. The asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs and thereby deprived me of my (don’t think about it logically you assholes) T. Rex that I ride around like a car could have seeded life throughout the rest of the galaxy.
Astronomers Find Evidence of STAR-KILLING Sandtorms. Guess ‘Episode I’ Anakin Was Right. Go Figure.
The cosmos is goddamn impressive for a variety of reasons. One of my favorite examples is its tremendous capacity for destruction. Marauding stars, black holes, and now this: sandstorms that rise up out of a star and friggin’ end it.
Recycling Paper From POOP? Keep On, Science. Keep On.
The world is growing smaller and our waste output is swelling, folks. With this in mind, desperate measures must be taken. Revolting to some, arousing to fecalphiliacs, this new way to generate paper is pretty goddamn amazing.
Dental X-Rays Linked To BRAIN TUMORS. OMFG. Fear ++
As I mow on some jelly beans, I am relishing the fact that I am slowly feeling my teeth rot. It turns out the alternative to my sugar-coated rot-teeth are brain tumors.
