#September2012
Stars SCREAM while being eaten by BLACK HOLES. Cold motherf**kers.
Black holes. I already knew they were bad ass. Turns out, they’re the coldest of motherfuckers. Not only do they gobble up stars, but whilst they do so the stars are all “Jesus Christ, stop, stop!” screaming with little dignity and no resignation.
Neuroscientists control THE DREAMS of rats. Well f**k me.
We’re flying too high, Icarus! Goodness me. Goddamn neuroscientists all controlling the dreams of mice. Let them step into the dank dark dungeons of my subconscious. I shall deep fry their particles with scatological behavior and vomit play! All while pitching for the Neo-Mars Thunderbars.
Researchers grow HUMAN TISSUE around nanowires and transistors. CYBORG FLESH, ya’ll.
Isn’t much time until Caprica Six is launching nuclear strikes and boning wily, narcissistic scientists. Researchers have found a way to grow human flesh around all sorts of technology. We’re talking nanowires! Pow! We’re talking transistors! Pow! The future isn’t arriving, it is here. Eating out of your refrigerator and casting uncomfortable looks at your Mom’s legs.
Video: Scientists model evolution of the Universe using a supercomputer.
Want to see a modeling of the universe using a wunder-computer? Of course you do. Don’t pretend otherwise.
Scientists create ARTIFICIAL JELLYFISH from a RAT’S HEART. Yeah, science!
One day some brilliant biophysicist was hanging out at the New England Aquarium when he thought something I would have never dreamed. Dude said to himself, “I can build a jellyfish”, whereas usually I’m like “man…the fish, they like, swim. Really well.”
Nuclear Scientists Forging Sapphire Discs That Will Store Data For MILLIONS OF YEARS. Well.
Hey, this is totally awesome. We’re going to be able to store data for millions of years on these neat sapphire discs. Nothing will ensure our shame like when the Martians return, wondering what the fuck happened. They’ll spin up these discs, and see us fat, bloated, and giggling at cats on YouTube.
This Camera Can Detect Cancer Cells In Real Time. Yeah, Science!
I don’t know if it’s going to be prostrate cancer, or Diet Dew-chemicals induced brain cancer that knocks me off the top rope. I don’t know which one shall do it. However, I’m glad that there’s all sorts of wonderful medicinal technological wunder-things arriving into the world to screen my dumb ass when the day comes.
GOOGLE X Creates 16,000 Core ‘NEURAL NETWORK’ That Learns On Its On. ON ITS OWN.
Motherfucking robots might as well just crack open the cyber-chamapagne now. They’ve got the keys to our kingdom. Hey, let’s just create independent-learning neural networks. Certainly, right now it just figured out a cat. Sure, sure. Well know where it’s heading.
Video: First Ever MRI Video Shows Childbirth From THE INSIDE OH JESUS.
Oh hey. Here’s an MRI video of a childbirth, capturing it from the inside. Yeah, no big deal. It just looks like an alien slithering machine of want-doom.
